


When I Look at You

by Rhapsody0607



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Queertical Role
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Canon Ace Character, Demiromantic, F/F, F/M, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, demisexual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:34:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15395886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhapsody0607/pseuds/Rhapsody0607
Summary: The Sorting Hat is silent for so long once it slips over Ryleigh's eyes that she starts to worry it’ll refuse to acknowledge her, but then it whispers into her ear in a gravelly tone. “Not a bad mind you have. There’s nothing in our libraries you’ll find that exceeds your grasp. You’re brave, too. If it comes to it, you will sacrifice all things to be who you have to be. But there’s kindness in you, Alastair, even if it hides. And of course, ambition. I saw it in your ancestors, too.” Ryleigh inhales sharply. She’s muggle born, there aren’t witches and wizards in her family, what does the sorting hat mean. “But in you, that ambition doesn’t worry me, because you have the rest as well… better be..." The seem opens wide and shouts to the great hall, "Slytherin!”OrThe Hogwarts AU for our DnD characters.





	1. First Year

Ryleigh walks half the length of the train before she finds an empty carriage. She hears Avery’s voice in her head, telling her to look for other kids her age to sit with, but she doesn’t make friends easily. So when she finally comes across a vacant booth, she quickly slips inside, resigning herself to a few hours of alternating between staring contemplatively out the window and browsing through her textbooks, which she finds fascinating.

 

On Ryleigh’s 11th birthday, a half elven woman named Eloise showed up at their tiny apartment to inform Ryleigh’s dad, sister, and brother that magic exists, that there’s a school for young witches and wizards, and that Ryleigh is a witch. So here she is, on the Hogwarts Express, heading towards her first year of magical education.

 

A few tentative knocks startle Ryleigh out of her thoughts. A dark skinned boy with warm brown eyes is smiling gently at her, sliding open the compartment door.

 

“Hi,” he grins, and Ryleigh’s vocabulary seems to be unable to unearth a suitable reply. “I’m Badru. Is this seat taken?” He gestures to the one across from Ryleigh, who mutely shakes her head. Badru appears unperturbed by Ryleigh’s silence, and happily chatters on. “I was going to sit with my cousin, Misha, but she’s already sitting with a bunch of people so I thought I’d find another compartment. And I couldn’t tell, but you look like you might be new to Hogwarts too.”

 

“I am,” Ryleigh manages finally. “But I don’t think you want to sit with me.”

 

“Why not? Am I bothering you?” Badru looks horrified at the thought.

 

Ryleigh can’t help but smile a little, a brief upturn of the lips. “No, of course not. It’s just… some people were calling me a ‘mudblood’ and well, I don’t know what that means, but I can tell it’s something dirty. I wouldn’t want you to get mixed up with me if other students already don’t like me.”

 

Badru’s expression shifts from anger at the word ‘mudblood’ to something gentler when Ryleigh mentions her worry for anyone associated with her. “That’s a filthy thing to call someone. It means ‘dirty blood’ - are you muggle born?” At Ryleigh’s questioning eyebrow, he knows the answer to his question, but also adds for Ryleigh’s sake, “Were you born to people without magic.”

 

“Yes,” Ryleigh breathes and looks out the window, “I didn’t know all the funny things I could do was magic. I didn’t know witches and wizards existed until the Headmistress came to tell my family.”

 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Badru continues, “some of the best witches and wizards are muggle born. The Headmistress’ wife was one of the best dark wizard catchers before she retired to teach, and she’s muggle born.”

 

Uncertainty still flicks across Ryleigh’s features. Badru stands and takes the seat next to her, he leans over to catch Ryleigh’s eye. “Anyone with magic in their veins belongs at Hogwarts, regardless of their name or bloodline. And I doubt Eloise made a mistake with your admission letter.” He smiles soothingly at Ryleigh.  

 

She finally nods, “I’m Ryleigh, Ryleigh Alastair.” Ryleigh sees Badru’s expression falter momentarily at her surname, but it’s gone so quickly that she thinks she imagined it.

 

Feeling slightly less anxious, Ryleigh asks, “This girl at the robe shop in Diagon Alley, she asked me what house I’d be in. What did she mean?”

 

Badru smiles at the question, “Hogwarts has four houses, each house values something different and every student is put into a house based on what they value the most. My dad was in Gryffindor and my mom didn’t go to Hogwarts, she went to a foreign school.” Ryleigh still looks puzzled so he continues, “Gryffindors are usually bold and value chivalry. Hufflepuffs are often compassionate, and value hard work. Ravenclaws are clever, and value knowledge. While Slytherins are cunning and value ambition.”

 

“What house do you think you’ll be in?” Ryleigh asks, worry bubbling in her stomach.

 

Badru takes a measured breath, “I honestly don’t know.” Ryleigh reaches out and takes his hand in hers, she offers him a small smile. He looks at their joined hands and wonders if Ryleigh might be in Hufflepuff; he smiles too before continuing, “I feel like I could belong in any house, and I’m not sure what I value the most.”

 

“How’s it decided?”

 

Their compartment door slides open with bang before Badru can answer, and a small pink tiefling is stumbling inside, cradling something in her arms. Three boys suddenly appear in the hall outside, sneers on each of their faces.

 

“Come on, devil. We’re just having some fun,” one of them says as the tiefling girl stands.

 

Ryleigh is on her feet and putting herself between the girl and the three boys. “Watch your tongue,” Ryleigh bites out, and Badru thinks maybe she belongs in Gryffindor, “or I’ll cut it from your head.”

 

“Is there a problem ‘ere?” asks a half-orc girl, already dressed in her Hogwarts robes, gold and scarlet tie peeking through her vest. Ryleigh’s first impression is that she’s tall and looks like she can crush the boy’s head with her bare hands.

 

“Nope,” the boy says casually to her, “there’s no problem here.” He turns to his friends and nods down the hallway. “See you around, devil.”

 

Suddenly, the air in the compartment changes, the boy’s tie starts to tighten around his neck, he starts choking, then falls to his knees. Everyone in the room looks confused until Ryleigh’s voice rings out. “Watch. Your. Tongue.” Her face is contorted with anger as she advances on the boy, who’s starting to turn purple.

 

“Ryleigh,” Badru softly says as he reaches out and takes Ryleigh’s hand. The air in the compartment returns to normal and the boy scrambles to his feet, gasping for air, fear etched on his features.

 

“You’re unstable! Bloody mental,” he yells as he retreats down the hallway with his friends.

 

Badru feels a tremor pass through his and Ryleigh’s joined hands, before she pulls her hand away. “I’m sorry,” she whispers and it sounds like she might cry.

 

“Don’t be,” the pink tiefling girl says. “That boy has been teasing me about Stool since we left the station. I’m Seirixori, by the way.”

 

“Is that a myconid?” Badru asks, pointing to what looks like a large mushroom in Seirixori’s arms, curiosity apparent in his voice.

 

Seirixori brightens, “They are! I had to get special permission to bring them to Hogwarts. Professor Takara is a family friend, so I think she had something to do with it.”

 

“On that note, I’m gunna head back to my compartment, look after yerself, kid.” The half-orc says to Seirixori, giving them all a small wave. Her eyes study Ryleigh a moment longer than everyone else, but then she’s walking down the hallway.

 

“Thank you,” Seirixori says to Ryleigh, her smile reinforcing her gratitude. “What were your names?”

 

“I’m Ryleigh.”

 

“Badru.”

 

Ryleigh tries to mimic Seirixori’s smile, but she doesn’t quite succeed. “It was no problem. I don’t like bullies.”

 

The compartment door slides open for a third time and two boys are rushing into the compartment to hug Seirixori.

 

“Are you alright? Urrak just told us what happened and we came to find you,” a tall, bronze dragonborn boy says.

 

“Yeah, who do we need to curse?” the shorter of the two boys with straw colored hair threatens, looking about the compartment. Ryleigh can see a black and yellow tie under his cardigan.

 

“I’m fine, stop fussing.” Seirixori rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling at her friends. “See you two around.” She shoves the boys out of the compartment and closes the door behind her, leaving Badru and Ryleigh in silence.

 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Ryleigh murmurs.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Ryleigh swallows around the emotion building in her throat, “You don’t have to be friends with me. It’s fine. I know I’m unstable,” she says, repeating the boys words.

 

Badru stands and for a moment Ryleigh’s convinced he’s leaving, but then he’s kneeling and looking up into her face. His brown eyes find her violet ones, “It’s not uncommon for witches and wizards at any age to lose their temper, producing raw magic like you did. You just have to learn to control it - Hogwarts will help.”

 

“I hope so,” Ryleigh’s voice is barely a whisper, it sounds defeated and scared.

 

“I’ll also be there to help,” Badru says firmly.

The rock in the pit of Ryleigh’s stomach starts to dissolve after that, and about 30 minutes later, an elderly woman pushing a food trolley stops at their compartment. Ryleigh declines buying anything, digging in her bag for some packed sandwiches, but Badru buys them a few of everything. Ryleigh looks bewildered at the selection of sweets, and Badru has a great time introducing Ryleigh to Chocolate Frogs, Fizzing Whizbees, and Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans.

When the train stops, Ryleigh thinks about how nice it is to have made a friend. Someone who doesn’t seem to be afraid of her. Badru quickly shoves the remaining candy hastily into his pockets, then grabs Ryleigh’s hand and practically drags her out of the compartment.

“Come on, Ryleigh, it’s going to be amazing,” he smiles broadly, and somehow, Ryleigh finds it within herself to agree.

\---

“Alastair, Ryleigh.”

Of course she’s called first, she should have known. Ryleigh’s so nervous she nearly trips walking up the stairs. She sits on the three legged stool, in front of the entire school, and swallows hard. But then she finds Badru’s face in the crowd of first years and he gives her a warm smile.

The Sorting Hat is silent for so long once it slips over Ryleigh's eyes that she starts to worry it’ll refuse to acknowledge her, but then it whispers into her ear in a gravelly tone. “ _ Not a bad mind you have. There’s nothing in our libraries you’ll find that exceeds your grasp. You’re brave, too. If it comes to it, you will sacrifice all things to be who you have to be. But there’s kindness in you, Alastair, even if it hides. And of course, ambition. I saw it in your ancestors, too. _ ” Ryleigh inhales sharply. She’s muggle born, there aren’t witches and wizards in her family, what does the sorting hat mean. “ _ But in you, that ambition doesn’t worry me, because you have the rest as well… better be... _ " The seem opens wide and shouts to the great hall, "Slytherin!”

Cheers erupt from the green-clad table and Ryleigh sighs in relief as the hat is pulled from her head. She hops down from the stool and heads towards the other Slytherins, shooting Badru an anxious smile before disappearing into the sea of students.

She watches as “Iscitan, Seirixori” becomes a Slytherin after only a few seconds under the hat. Again the green-clad table cheers, Ryleigh among them. Seirixori sits next to her and Ryleigh gives her a side hug in congratulations.

“Moonstream, Badru.”

The entire great hall stills as Badru sits atop the stool, the anticipation palpable when the hat slips over his eyes.

“Why’s everyone so quiet?” Ryleigh whispers to Seirixori.

Seirixori stares at her for a moment, “You’re joking right? It’s because he’s _the_ Moonstream.”

“The Moonstream?”

“Yeah, he’s the crown prince,” Seirixori whispers back. Ryleigh’s eye widen, almost comically. Seirixori shakes her head in disbelief, “A muggle born in Slytherin, that’s pretty weird-” she flashes a winning smile at Ryleigh “-we can be weirdos together.”

Ryleigh turns her attention back to Badru. And they wait. She suddenly wonders how long she sat under the hat. They wait some more. She takes a calming breath, worried that her friend won’t be placed into any house. Nearly 5 minutes after the hat was placed on his head, the seem opens and shouts, “Ravenclaw!”

Deafening screams and cheers explode from the blue-clad table. Ryleigh can hear a few of the older Ravenclaws chanting, “We got Badru! We got Badru!” He jumps off the stool and looks over at the Slytherin table before joining the Ravenclaws, he finds her face in the sea of green and winks. Ryleigh gives him a thumbs up before he takes his seat.

“Moonstream, Misha” becomes the first to join the red-clad table. Ryleigh sees the half-orc girl from earlier clap Misha on the back before she sits down.

Seirixori jumps up and down excitedly in her seat next to Ryleigh as, “Vompas, Nolanos” sits on the stool. The hat barely touches his head before its yelling, “Ravenclaw!” He quickly stands from the stool and walks towards the cheering Ravenclaw table.

“Welwyse, Ravaphine” is the last first year to be sorted. She approaches the stool and sits, anxiety clear on her face. The hat is dropped over her head and a few seconds later its announcing, “Ravenclaw!” to the entire hall. In her excitement, Ravaphine runs to the Ravenclaw table with the Sorting Hat still on her head. The professors all lightly laugh as she jogs back to the front, apologizing profusely.

\---

Ryleigh has three classes with Badru - Potions, Herbology, and Defence Against the Dark Arts. At first, she worries Badru won’t want to be friends, with her green and silver tie and the rumours that tag along in her wake. She shouldn’t have lost her temper with that boy on the train. Instead, the dungeon door barely has time to close behind Badru before he’s throwing himself into the seat next Ryleigh and jabbering away about his new common room and how they have to answer a riddle or a question to get into the Ravenclaw tower.

Somehow, on the train ride to Hogwarts, Badru decided that Ryleigh was a worthy friend, and though she can’t really understand it, Ryleigh is going to do everything she can to hang onto this thing between them.

In the first week of class, they all discover that Seirixori is truly terrible at potions. Almost impossibly bad. Sometimes, even when she follows the instructions precisely to the letter, which she rarely manages to do, the liquid in her cauldron would dissipate into vapour or solidify. So Nolanos, Badru, and Ravaphine have to help her during class. Ryleigh’s not terrible, but she doesn’t have the natural talent for it that Nolanos does.

When Badru accidentally spills a watery concoction on Ryleigh halfway through the first week, the class falls silent, waiting for the debut of Ryleigh’s rumored temper. Badru just laughs, scrubs the potion off Ryleigh’s arm with the edge of his robe, and asks if she’s okay. Ryleigh feels odd for a moment before she manages to tie the realization down: Badru isn’t afraid of her. Not even a little bit.

What Seirixori lacks in potions, she more than makes up for in Herbology. Badru and Seirixori bond over Stool, and Professor Takara even lets Seirixori hold a mandrake to keep it quiet after class, even though that’s technically second year stuff. The horrible plant with red venomous spikes that strikes out at the rest of them, seems to curl into Badru’s touch. Ryleigh gets the impression that living things always seem to want to be closer to him, and yeah, Ryleigh can understand that.

In their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class, Professor Moonstream, the headmistress’s wife, pulls Ryleigh aside.

“I heard what happened on the train,” she tells her, in a serious voice that keeps even over-excitable eleven year olds completely still and silent in class.

“I… I’m working on it,” Ryleigh replies. Professor Moonstream nods, just once, and after giving Ryleigh a smile, which is really too small to be an actual smile, but is still somehow impossibly reassuring anyway, she doesn’t bring it up again.

Even though there’s at least a dozen other girls and boys clamouring to be Badru’s partner in Defense Against the Dark Arts when they practice spells, he always chooses Ryleigh.

\---

Badru drags Ryleigh to her first Quidditch game: Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw. They sit with Nolanos and Ravaphine, who’s charmed a huge eagle that actually screeches and flies around their section of the stands. Ryleigh is positive Ravaphine is going to scream herself hoarse, cheering loudly for the Ravenclaw players, but also for Urrak, who’s on the Gryffindor team. Ryleigh asks questions throughout the entirety of the match and Badru answers each one patiently in between cheers. It doesn’t take long for her to start cheering too. At first, she feels a little silly to scream when a play is made or the quaffle flies through a goalpost, but then the others grin at her, and after that, it doesn’t seem silly anymore.

\---

“You don’t belong in Slytherin, you filthy mudblood,” the boy spits at her, getting up in her space. She’d trod on his foot by accident while walking back from dinner, and he’s been yelling at her for at least a minute now. Ryleigh grits her teeth, trying to calm down. She takes it silently, worried that if she gives even half as good as she gets, the word will reach the professors, she’ll be labeled as violent, and this third year boy will be painted as the victim of an unprovoked attack.

“Hey! Why are you being mean?” Badru’s voice rings out from across the hall. The boy is at least six inches taller than Badru, but he still recoils at the sound of his scolding. No one has seen Badru be even the slightest bit cross, and they’re well into the term. “Don’t be rude to her, she didn’t do anything wrong.”

He grabs a surprised Ryleigh’s hand and tugs her away from the gaping offender, into the dark recesses of a nearby corridor. “Why didn’t you stand up to him?” Badru demands. Ryleigh worries for a moment that he’s mad at her too, but one glance at her friend’s face and she knows Badru is upset.

“It’s not worth it.” Ryleigh hopes Badru understands that it’s not worth the backlash, the rumors, the jeers in the halls, the trouble she’ll get into if she hurts someone else. As if he’s got some sort of special power, Badru sees through all the other implications, and knows what Ryleigh really means.

“Yes,” Badru says, with a million tons of certainty. “You are.”

Then he takes Ryleigh up to the Astronomy Tower and points out constellations to her, his fingers tightly knotted with her, until everything feels peaceful again.  

\---

“Where are you going for Christmas?” Badru nudges her gently.

They’re lounging under a tree in front of the Black Lake, tossing bits of toast into it and hoping to catch a glimpse of the giant squid. A gaggle of house elves forced them to take extra food after breakfast. They all adore Badru, much like everyone Ryleigh’s ever met, and they kept offering him small treats. He brings them tiny trinkets, but nothing that could be misconstrued as clothes if they don’t want them to be, but innocent little silvery charms Badru makes himself using various spells and household objects. The elves treasure these little things, pinning them to their pillowcases and draping them about their necks.

“Home,” Ryleigh replies, her head is in his lap, “I already sent an owl to Kizer, letting him know when to pick me up.”

“Why didn’t you ask to borrow Vydea?” Badru stares down at Ryleigh a little puzzled.

“I’m not going to borrow Vydea every time I need to send a letter home.” Ryleigh steals the piece of toast in Badru’s hand and pops it into her mouth. “Are you going home for Christmas?”

“I am,” Badru rolls his eyes, “and you’re changing the subject.”

Ryleigh groans, “Okay, I just... I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you… or your kindness.”

“Ryleigh, you’re my best friend, its fine. And Vydea likes you, I think it's because you give her too many owl treats.”

“There’s no such thing as too many owl treats,” Ryleigh says so seriously it makes Badru laugh.

\---

In the second term, a fifth year boy from Slytherin sets a bludger on Ryleigh with a hex. She’s waiting to go into her History of Magic class when the solid ball of iron slams into the side of her head. Her skull aches and her tongue feels too big for her mouth and everything turns static and fuzzy, then black.

As soon as she wakes up, she wishes she hadn’t. Everything hurts. When she finally cracks an eyelid, she can make out at least three very blurry Badrus sitting next to her bed. There’s a small pile of chocolate frogs on Ryleigh’s nightstand, but they look untouched. Badru’s face is in his hands.

“Hey,” Ryleigh croaks, and it feels like it’s ripping her throat apart, but it’s worth it when Badru looks over at her.

“Ryleigh! Gods, I’m glad you’re alright.” He moves forward and wraps Ryleigh in a purposefully delicate hug.

Ryleigh smiles into his shoulder.

“Seirixori said she was going to jinx the guy who set that bludger on you,” he murmurs.

Ryleigh’s Head of House, Professor Chaeta, walks in moments later. He tells Badru to go notify the nurse that Ryleigh’s awake, and waits for him to leave before he asks her who hexed the bludger. Even though Ryleigh saw and knows the name of the boy, she refuses to tell him.

Professor Chaeta clears his throat, “On the record,” he pauses and stares into Ryleigh’s violet eyes, “you’re a fool for covering up for the boy, but off the record-” Chaeta sighs heavily “-I know you’ll have to work ten times as hard as everyone else just to fit in in Slytherin house, and I respect you for that.”

He tilts his head in the direction Badru went, “You have a powerful ally in him.”

“He’s my best friend,” Ryleigh glares at her Head of House.

Chaeta smirks at her answer and shrugs as he leaves the hospital wing. Before he gets too far, Ryleigh hears him say, “He could be both.”

News travels fast at Hogwarts, so the entire school soon finds out that Ryleigh refused to tell her Head of House, the Headmistress, and any of the teachers who hexed the bludger. This wins her a reputation for not being a snitch and earns her the beginnings of grudging respect from those in her house.

\---

The year seems to gain an absurd amount of momentum after the bludger incident, the weeks rocketing by. It’s like time is tripping over itself and end of term exams are looming on the horizon. Badru, Ravaphine, and Nolanos drag Seirixori and Ryleigh to the library early on their days off, and late during the school week.

Urrak is often in the library too, accompanying a rather stressed half-elf Ravenclaw girl named Malica who she’s dating. Unlike the rest of them, Urrak doesn’t seemed stressed about her third year exams.

“There’s nothin’ a book can teach ye that ye can’t teach yerself hands on,” she says to Ryleigh one day.

Malica gives her a stern look and replies with, “Tell that your abysmal potions grade. Or your poor Herbology grade. Or Astronomy. Or-”

“Shhhh! I get it, ye think I need to study more,” Urrak exclaims, covering her girlfriends mouth with her hand.

The librarian hushes them from behind a nearby bookshelf.

Badru seems to love studying, and while Ryleigh has a similar appreciation for learning, she’s very tactile - in more ways than one - and prefers to engage through experience, making the piles of reading more of a chore than an enjoyable experience. Badru tries to make it more interesting by enchanting little models of the stars to float above Ryleigh’s head to help her remember the constellations, practicing transfiguration with candy, or drawing diagrams in color-changing ink.

Ryleigh realizes that it all probably slows Badru down, but when they stumble out of their final exam, Ryleigh wraps her arms tight around his waist and sighs out, “Thank the gods. I could not have done that without you.”

Badru smiles into Ryleigh’s long blonde hair, murmuring, “Of course you could have.”

\---

Vydea is perched on the window seal of their compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Ryleigh runs her hand over Vydea’s soft grey feathers while the other is holding out an owl treat.

“Don’t tell Badru,” Ryleigh whispers conspiratorially with the owl, who lets out a soft hoot.

He laughs before taking a bite of a chocolate frog, “Ry, I’m sitting right here?”

“Busted,” Seirixori giggles, munching on an every-flavor bean.

Nolanos and Beiro stop by the compartment a while later, insisting that Seirixori come with them to track down the food trolley again. As they leave, Ryleigh’s head drops onto Badru’s shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut.

“I’m really glad I sat with you that first day,” Badru whispers sleepily, his head leaning against Ryleigh’s.

“Not as glad as I am,” Ryleigh whispers back, but it takes so long to find the words to reply that Ryleigh’s positive Badru has already fallen asleep.

\---

They both awake to the sound of a camera’s shutter clicking. Ryleigh blinks a few times before focusing on where the noise came from. Malica’s standing in the doorway with Urrak and Seirixori just behind her.

“I’m sorry,” Malica quickly apologizes when she realizes she woke them. “I just couldn’t resist, you two were so adorable.”

Badru speaks first, his voice rough with tiredness, “Just don’t print it, the press would have a field day.”

Urrak starts making retching sounds behind Malica but she’s quickly silenced when Malica turns to glare at her. “Don’t worry, I believe in the privacy of the royal family,” she winks at him.

“The train just pulled into the station,” Seirixori says as she grabs her bag from the bin above the other seat.

Once they’re on the platform, Ryleigh pulls Badru into a fierce hug. She can see his parents’ staff over his shoulder, probably waiting to take him home. One of them starts to approach them.

“Have a great summer, Ry.”

She smiles brightly at him, “Take care of yourself, write to me?”

“Of course! I think Vydea will miss you if she doesn’t get to see you for three months.” Badru looks fondly at his owl.

Ryleigh spots Kizer, Clemency, and Avery making their way through the crowd towards her.

The staff member finally reaches them and grabs Badru’s trolley, before bowing to him. Ryleigh stifles her laughter as the man speaks, “Prince Badru, we have a schedule to keep. I apologize for the interruption.”

“No problem, I’ll be there in a moment.” Badru says while elbowing Ryleigh in the side. Once the man is out of earshot Badru rounds on Ryleigh, “You’re insufferable sometimes,” but he’s smiling.

“I’m sorry, it’s just so weird. I forget that you’re basically famous. You’re just Badru with me.”

He pulls Ryleigh in for another hug and mumbles, “I know. It’s one of the many things I like about you.”

After briefly meeting Kizer, Clemency, and Avery, Badru waves goodbye to them and is escorted from the platform.

“So, how was your first year?” Avery asks, as he hugs Ryleigh.

Kizer takes her trolley and Clemency holds her hand on the way out of the train station.

“Tell us everything!” Clemency says once they’re in the car.

Ryleigh starts to excitedly recount the entire year to them.

  



	2. Second Year

The first thing that Ryleigh sees when she steps onto Platform 9 ¾ is not the gleaming red steam engine, or the conductor, or the impatiently clanking cages of owls. It’s Badru, his dark hair gently tousled by the wind. She can tell the exact second Badru catches sight of her, because his face lights up with a bright, beaming smile.

 

He’s letting go of his trolley and dodging away from his handlers, racing towards Ryleigh. The hug Ryleigh receives happens at full force, Badru barely slowing down before he throws his arms around Ryleigh’s waist and holds her tight.

 

There’s a heartbeat of warm silence before Badru breaks it, “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too,” Ryleigh smiles as she withdraws from Badru’s hug. Moments later, someone else is yelling her name and crashing into her.

 

“Ryleigh!” Seirixori screams, before jumping onto Ryleigh’s back. They both topple forward and land hard on the platform floor.

 

Ryleigh hears a familiar clicking sound off to their right. She looks over to see Malica snapping photos, Badru laughing, and Urrak walking over to help Seirixori off of Ryleigh.

 

“Gods Seir, what are ye tryin’ to do?”

 

Seirixori stands with Urrak’s help. “Ow,” she mumbles out, “I was just excited.”

 

Ryleigh rolls over onto her back and laughs, “It’s fine, Seirixori. I’m happy to see you too.”

 

“ _Raro a’o_ , are you hurt?” Kizer’s deep voice travels to Ryleigh as he, Avery, and Clemency walk through the barrier. Everyone’s eyes widen a bit at Kizer’s presence. He’s taller than most tieflings, with broad shoulders and kind face. Avery offers his hand to Ryleigh, she takes it and stands, brushing herself off.

 

“No, I’m alright,” Ryleigh says as she runs into Kizer’s arms.

 

He chuckles and wraps her in a hug, before looking around the group. “I met Badru at the end of last term, but the rest of you must be Ryleigh’s other friends. She’s told us so much about you.”

 

Ryleigh introduces everyone and gives her family one last hug before she boards the train with her friends.

 

\---

 

On their second day of classes, Ryleigh finds Badru in tears after a particularly rough transfiguration lesson. The professor has a reputation for making younger students cry, especially when they’re exceptional.

 

Ryleigh takes Badru’s hand and leads him around the gamekeepers hut, past the pumpkin patch, and down to the very edge of the forest, which isn’t technically out of bounds - unless someone catches them.

 

“What are we doing here?”

 

“You’ll see,” Ryleigh reassures him, squeezing his hand lightly.

 

Just past the trees, Ryleigh points to a striking white unicorn tethered to a post. She drops her voice to a whisper, “Seirixori told me the fourth years are studying them in care of magical creatures. She snuck down here earlier to pet her. Do you want to get closer?”

 

Badru nods and they both walk very slowly towards the unicorn. Within a short amount of time, the unicorn allows them to touch her, she nudges Badru with her nose, like she can sense he’s upset. After a few hours, Badru is happy again, his tears have dried, and Ryleigh relaxes. They miss a class or two, but Ryleigh doesn’t mind - if it made Badru feel better, she’d skip a whole term.

 

\---

 

They’re all hanging out in the courtyard, enjoying the weekend and the respite from classes. Badru brought his transfiguration textbook, because outwardly, he’s trying to study. Ryleigh gets bored of studying and resigns herself to singing the school song under her breath to some ridiculously upbeat muggle pop song while toying with Badru’s fingers.

 

Urrak is playing with an old quaffle, tossing it into the air and catching it with ease. Seirixori is laying on the ground near Ryleigh and Badru’s feet, laughing at the absurdity of Ryleigh’s version of the school song when the quaffle soars out of Urrak’s hands and straight at Ryleigh. She feels the movement, rather than sees it, and without skipping a beat in her song, or detaching her hand from Badru’s, she snatches the quaffle out of the air before it can hit her.

 

Malica comes running around the corner, “Oh gods, Ryleigh, I’m so sorry! I was trying to enchant it to smack Urrak in the butt and I must have miscalculated the spell. Thank the gods you have quick reflexes.”

 

“Holy shit, Ry, that was fast,” Urrak squeaks, and its so far from her usual voice that Ryleigh glances over at her in surprise, only to find Urrak, Malica, and Seirixori staring at her in shock.

 

Ryleigh shrugs, “It was just a reflex. I just don’t want a repeat of last year’s bludger.”

 

“I’m serious, Ryleigh. That was really good. With reflexes like that, you should go to the Slytherin team tryouts next week,” Urrak suggests eagerly, but Ryleigh’s already shaking her head. She’s not sure how to explain that she couldn’t afford to play quidditch even if she wanted to. She doesn’t have the money for a broomstick.

 

As if reading her mind, in the way he always does, Badru finally looks up from his transfiguration book and suggests, “You can always use my broom?”

 

“What? No. Badru, you were just talking about trying out for the Ravenclaw team. If I used your broom, then what would you use?” Ryleigh adamantly shakes her head.

 

The others go silent at the _moment_ their two friends are having. Ryleigh’s sensory perception is reduced to the rhythmic pressure of Badru’s thumb as it swipes across the back of her hand, calming her in a comforting caress.

 

“Why don’t you use mine for tryouts. If you make the team then we’ll figure something out, and if you don’t then there’s nothing to figure out.”

 

A week passes and Ryleigh shows up to tryouts - it’s packed. It seems that suddenly every Slytherin in school has become interested in joining the team. Ryleigh would turn around and go back to her dorm if it weren’t for the presence of her friends in the stands, already whooping for her even though it hasn’t even started yet. Urrak is doing some kind of made-up war dance while the others clap her on.

 

They all look completely ridiculous, and Ryleigh feels lucky, a smile tugging at her lips.

 

Tryouts start with the Slytherin captain, Holden Dumile, running drills with anyone interested in becoming a chaser. After nearly two hours, and several tantrums, one involving a crashed broomstick and several broken teeth, Dumile finally chooses three chasers. One of the chasers was a returning player from the previous year and had an excellent trial, another was particularly good at dodging bludgers, and the last had out flown all the competition.

 

The next part of the tryouts was for the open beater position. Dumile flew around the pitch, drilling each applicant until he found someone he was compatible with. Seeker tryouts were after that, and a seventh year girl snagged the position with the quickest snitch catch Ryleigh had ever seen. When it finally came time for keeper tryouts, Ryleigh’s nerves had settled into excitement. None of the first five applicants saved more than two goals, but a fifth year boy named Connell Barham saved four out of five penalty shots.

 

Ryleigh’s friends all cheer as she mounts her borrowed broom and flies around the goal posts a few times to warm up. Each of the Slytherin chasers take turns trying to score on Ryleigh. They dive and feint, trying to get the quaffle past her but she saves one, two, three, four, and five penalties in a row.

 

She makes the team and it’s a rush to know she’s good at something, that she has a talent. Of course, it’s nothing compared to the feeling of her friends running onto the pitch and tackling her in group hug.

 

The next day they all gather in the stands to cheer on Badru at Ravenclaw’s quidditch tryouts. He’s nimble, small, and quick - he’d probably make a good seeker, but he wants to be a chaser. Just like the Slytherin tryouts, the chasers were picked first. Badru ducks and dodges around bludgers and the other players with ease, scoring 17 goals on the open hoops; and during keeper tryouts he scores 4 out of 5 penalty shots.

 

Ryleigh’s first onto the pitch after his tryout is over, she runs into his arms, hugs him tightly and kisses his cheek in congratulations. Soon the others are dog piling onto them, screaming in excitement.

 

\---

 

The morning of Ryleigh’s first quidditch match, she’s dying of nerves. Badru tries to coax her into eating about fifteen different things, to no avail. This first match is against Hufflepuff, so only Beiro is suffering from divided loyalty.

 

“I’ll cheer _if_ we score,” Beiro says to her from his seat next to Seirixori, “from what Seirixori has told me, you’re pretty good Alastair.”

 

“She’s just really invested in Slytherins chances of winning the quidditch cup this year. She’ll say anything to intimidate the opposition,” Ryleigh rolls her eyes and winks at him, “don’t forget we Slytherins _are_ cunning, Beiro.”

 

During the match, one particularly competitive Hufflepuff beater sends about a dozen bludgers her way, which isn’t allowed unless the quaffle is near the goal post. But apart from a harsh bruise on her shoulder, she gets through her first match unscathed. The Slytherin seeker catches the golden sphere, ending the game. The green-clad supporters are screaming at the top of their lungs; their quidditch season is off to a great start.

 

\---

 

It happens just after Christmas break. Ryleigh’s supposed to meet Badru near the astronomy tower, which is usually quiet and perfect for evening study sessions. She’s climbing the tower staircase when she hears multiple voices drifting towards her. She takes the last flight of stairs two at time and when she reaches the landing her jaw drops.

 

There is a boy, probably in his fourth or fifth year, with his wand pointed at Badru’s chest. The other has Badru’s arms secured behind his back. Ryleigh notices that Badru has a bruised lip, but there’s defiance written all over his face.

 

“...Your family sits up in their palace not giving a shit about the rest us.”

 

“That’s not true!” Badru says back to the boy, “My dad is a good man and he cares about his people.”

 

The boy holding Badru kicks at the back of his knees, forcing him into a kneeling position. Ryleigh feels frozen to the spot where she stands on the stair landing.

 

“My father didn’t deserve to go to Azkaban, he was trying to save us. We’re tired of breaking our backs for the Moonstreams,” the boy snarls, he raises his wand and shouts, “Crucio!”

 

Badru’s jaw clenches and he screams through gritted teeth as the curse hits him. Ryleigh feels something rise inside her, something dangerous, and she’s so enraged she lets it surface. The air in the room stills as she takes a step towards the boys, they must notice the change in atmosphere because they both turn to look at her, surprise written on their faces. Badru’s screams stop and Ryleigh can see he’s gasping for air, and something snaps in Ryleigh.

 

“Oh look, His Majesty has got a girlfrie-” the taunt from the boy who’s holding Badru is cut short. Ryleigh, forgetting about her wand entirely, moves her hand in a jerky motion that sends him into the neighboring stone wall.

 

The boy hits it so hard that the sound reverberates around the room, he crumples to the ground and doesn’t move again. The fifth year boy who sent the curse raises his wand, pointing it at Ryleigh’s face. For a brief moment, Ryleigh’s brain registers the fear that’s clearly plastered across his features, but she can’t find it in herself to care.

 

“Stupify!” He cries out. Ryleigh raises her hand and the spell bounces off it, the boy’s eyes widen, panic replacing the fear. He shouts, “Petrificus Totalus!” but when that doesn’t work either, he starts to shout spell after spell, each of them deflected with apparent ease.

 

Ryleigh lowers her hand and glares at the boy, who suddenly starts to levitate a few inches. She continues to walk forward, the boy helpless before her.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me,” he whimpers.

 

“If you wanted mercy, you shouldn’t have tortured the one who’d give it to you,” Ryleigh’s voice sounds harsh and unforgiving.

 

The boy starts to choke as a sphere of air encircles his head. Ryleigh calmly watches as he starts to suffocate, his eyes starting to bulge, and his attempts to swat the air bubble away becoming weaker as the seconds pass. All of sudden, lithe arms are wrapping around her, a body is pressing into hers, and a familiar voice is piercing the fog in her head.

 

“Stop it, Ry. Please, don’t do this. Come back to me.”

 

The boy drops to the ground, struggling for a moment to breath, before promptly fainting at Ryleigh’s feet. Badru’s hands are on Ryleigh’s face, his eyes bouncing between each of hers, watching the anger recede, “Ryleigh?”

 

Ryleigh’s eyes fill with unshed tears as she buries her face in Badru’s neck and whispers, “I was so scared… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t control it.” The ‘I didn’t want to’ hangs in the air between them.

 

He lifts his wand and a silvery butterfly flutters from its end. “It’s alright, Ry. The teachers will be here in a moment. We’re okay.”

 

The Headmistress arrives a few minutes later. She takes stock of the situation: two older unconscious students, her nephew, who has a bruised lip and the little blonde girl, who’s clinging to him and crying.

 

“Badru, what happened here?”

 

He starts telling her how he and Ryleigh were supposed to meet in the tower to study, but the two boys cornered him, blaming him for their parents’ imprisonment in Azkaban. Badru explains that one of the boys used the Cruciatus curse on him and that’s when Ryleigh arrived.

 

“And you stopped them?” Eloise inquires.

 

Ryleigh nods solemnly. “Yes, Headmistress.”

 

“Raw magic?” she asks, but she already knows the answer when Ryleigh’s eyes fill with tears again. She lays a hand on Ryleigh’s shoulder. “We’ll get it under control.”

 

Eloise heals Badru’s lip with a wave of her wand and sends them to their common rooms before levitating the two unconscious boys to the hospital wing.

 

\---

 

The Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match happens a few days later. It starts off well, with a few incredible bludger hits from Urrak and some great quaffle shots from the Gryffindor chasers that Ryleigh manages to block.  

 

About 40 minutes into the match, the other Gryffindor beater flies up beside Ryleigh, definitely too near for it to be an accident, she’s hedging into Ryleigh’s space and limiting her maneuverability.

 

“That guy you nearly killed in the astrology tower, he’s my boyfriend,” she hisses, just loud enough that Ryleigh can hear her over the wind but not loud enough for the other players or the crowd to notice. “His name is Ghazan Kitsh and he’s still in a coma,” she spits at Ryleigh.

 

The Gryffindor girl has a good 20lbs on Ryleigh, so when she slams into her at full force, she’s immediately knocked off course. Somehow Ryleigh manages to hold onto her broomstick, but the beater charges her again, smashing her beater’s bat into Ryleigh’s ribs and winding her.

 

The students below begin to boo when they realize foul play is going on at the Slytherin goal post, and Ryleigh hears the distant shrieking of the time out whistle just as the Gryffindor girl charges her again.

 

“I’ve been waiting to make you hurt like I do,” the girl yells, and with one last rush, she knocks Ryleigh upside the head with her bat.

 

Ryleigh knows, in the back of her mind, that in the split second before the girl makes contact, she had a heartbeat to change her course and avoid the girls trajectory. The moment comes and passes and she doesn’t take the chance, because she feels like yeah, she deserves it. The bat hits her and everything fades to black.

 

\---

 

“And here I was, thinking you were staying out of trouble. I haven’t seen you since that bludger last year, Miss Alastair,” the matron notes, smiling warmly at her.

 

“I feel like I got run over,” Ryleigh groans, attempting to sit upright but quickly decides it’s not worth the pain and effort. The healer looks confused and Ryleigh clarifies, “uhhh, it feels like I got pummelled.”

 

“Oh. You definitely did. Hit the goal post and fell a solid sixty feet. Very impressive.”

 

Ryleigh tries to peek at the clipboard, but the common language isn’t computing with her eyes, and after a few seconds of staring at blurry letters, she gives up. “What does it say?”

 

“Trouble reading is your concussion in action, Ryleigh. You broke your left arm, collarbone, three ribs and your right ankle. Quite the selection. You’re on enough potions to start an apothecary, though, so you’ll be right as rain in a few days, don’t you worry.”

 

“Thank you,” Ryleigh croaks, wishing fervently she was still unconscious. Even the hit to the head she had taken last year hadn’t hurt quite this much. “Is there something I can take to go back to sleep?”

 

The matron nods. “But, I do have quite the crowd of agitated second years outside waiting to see you, as well as three quarters of a very apologetic Gryffindor Quidditch team. I’m sure you’d like to see them first.”

 

Ryleigh nearly nods, but the memory of the beater’s words hangs heavy in her mind. Can she really look at Badru, knowing about Ghazan? Can she face Urrak, with the face of a student who’s hurting because of her at the forefront of her thoughts? Could she accept Seirixori’s hug, weighed down by the idea that Ghazan may never wake up?

 

“Just the sleeping draught, please,” Ryleigh says.

 

\---

 

She gets away with a full three days in the hospital wing with no contact from anyone. It’s peaceful, and she mostly sleeps, hiding from the guilt in the soft embrace of unconsciousness. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, why she can’t control her magic, but most of all she doesn’t know how to carry all this.

 

During lunch on the fourth day, the doors of the ward are unceremoniously thrown open by an incensed-looking Seirixori. The tieflings eyes flick over the rows of beds until she locates Ryleigh, and storms over to her.

 

“Are you feeling any better?” she barks and Ryleigh winces.

 

“Y-yes. My bones are,” Ryleigh pauses, “less broken?”

 

“Good. Then there’s no reason for you to continue to ignore all of us - is there?”

 

Ryleigh breaks eye contact, searching for a way to explain that she doesn’t want to taint all of them with her bad reputation. Instead, she settles for, “I don’t want to see any of you.” It’ll have the same effect.

 

“Bullshit.”

 

Ryleigh stares, she’s never heard Seirixori swear. “W-what?”

 

Seirixori rolls her eyes. “You heard me. What about Badru? Just a few days ago you two are best friends, and now, what, he’s nobody?”

 

“I… Badru has lots of friends. I’m nothing special. I’m just… I’m just a mudblood that can’t control her own magic,” she spits. It tastes like venom, but she doesn’t try to swallow it down. Let it be what it is. Let them all hate her. After all, they need to hate someone.

 

Seirixori’s gaze softens. “Ryleigh, you can’t actually believe that.” Her hand reaches for Ryleigh’s, and even though she flinches away, Seirixori grabs her fingers and holds them tightly.

 

“How can I drag Badru into all this? Or any of you.”

 

“Ryleigh, we’re your friends. We love you.” At that, Ryleigh stiffens and jerks her hand away.

 

“Just go. Leave me alone,” Ryleigh says, and it’s in a falsely impassive voice.

 

Seirixori must see something in her eyes, because she stands up and steps back. “Don’t think we’re quitting on you, Ryleigh,” she calls out before the doors close behind her.

 

\---

 

On her way to her first class since getting out of the hospital wing, Ryleigh is unceremoniously grabbed by the back of her robes and dragged into a nearby broom closet.

 

“What the-” she begins, once the door swings shut behind her, only to be cut off by a sudden, warm, and entirely unanticipated hug. Judging from the dark brown hair invading her field of vision, and the vague scent of vanilla, it’s Badru. For a second, she relaxes and feels her arms come up around Badru of their own accord before she remembers exactly why she was avoiding him in the first place. She tries to wiggle free half-heartedly. “Badru, I’m not-”

 

“You’re sad,” Badru whispers into her shoulder.

 

He doesn’t try to say anything else. He just holds Ryleigh until she stops her weak attempts at resistance, goes silent, and eventually starts to cry. Sad. That about sums it up. Ryleigh doesn’t know how much time elapses with her mumbling all of her faults and fears into the crook of Badru’s neck, waiting for the moment when he’s finally too disgusted with her and leaves her alone in the cupboard.

 

When she’s finally cried herself out, and Badru’s still there, still smiling at her, Ryleigh allows herself to want to believe that what Seirixori said in the hospital wing was true and that they don’t plan to give up on her.

 

Ryleigh’s 40 minutes late to her double transfiguration class, and her eyes are red from crying, but the professor doesn’t comment. She apologizes and slides quietly into the empty seat next to Seirixori. Ryleigh pulls out a piece of parchment and jots down, “ _Herbology greenhouse after classes today?_ ” before flicking her wand and sending it into Seirixori’s lap. Seirixori answers after a few minutes, “ _Of course_.”

 

She’s running late, a fantastic way to start off an apology. Ryleigh sprints towards the herbology greenhouses, rounding the corner, then coming to a sudden stop. Seirixori is playing with a crumpled old snitch, letting it flutter tiredly a few feet away from her before leaping up and snatching it back triumphantly. With a particularly evasive maneuver, the snitch almost eludes Seirixori’s grasp, but she’s fast and her hand darts out, grabbing it from the air before it can make a break for the open sky.

 

“Why didn’t you try out for the Slytherin quidditch team, Seirixori?” Ryleigh says, finally making herself known.

 

Seirixori jumps slightly at Ryleigh’s voice, then her eyes narrow, “So you decided to show up.”

 

Ryleigh breaks eye contact and shuffles her feet. “I lost track of time trying to work out what to say to you.”

 

“You could start with ‘I’m sorry I’m a stubborn ass’ and finish with ‘thanks for putting up with it.’”

 

“I’m sorry I’m a stubborn ass and thanks for putting up with it,” Ryleigh recites with a small smile, “I really am sorry. I just… I don’t want any of you to get hurt because of me.”

 

Seirixori’s arms wrap around Ryleigh, pulling her into a hug. “You’re an idiot, but we love you. Stop trying to push us away,” she mumbles into Ryleigh’s hair.

 

Ryleigh feels heat build behind her eyes at Seirixori’s words. After a few minutes they pull apart, both a little teary eyed. Ryleigh recovers first, “You really should try out for the team. You’d be great and Judrizel is graduating this year. We need a seeker.”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Seirixori smiles and takes Ryleigh’s hand, dragging her towards the castle, “Come on, or we’ll miss dinner.”

 

\---

 

Ryleigh’s 13th birthday lands on a weekend. Badru meets her for breakfast in the great hall before leading her up to Ravenclaw tower. At the top of a spiral staircase, there stands a door without a keyhole or doorknob, instead, a bronze door knocker in the shape of an eagle. The eagle opens its mouth and asks, “ _How many cats can you fit in an empty box?_ ”

 

Badru thinks about it for a moment before answering, “Just one. After that the box is no longer empty.” The door swings open.

 

“All you have to do is answer the question? But what if you get it wrong?” Ryleigh asks.

 

“Then you have to wait for someone to come along and answer correctly, that way you learn,” Badru answers as he leads them up to the boys dormitory.

 

“Umm, why are we in your dorm?”

 

“I got you a birthday present,” Badru smiles at her, tugging her over to his bed.

 

“W-what? No. You gave me your old broom as my combined christmas _and_ birthday present. You’re not supposed to get me anything else.”

 

“I wanted to,” he reaches into his wardrobe to pull out a tiny cage from its hiding place, presenting it to Ryleigh, “here.”

 

Ryleigh takes the small cage and glances at its inhabitant, she squeals in excitement. A tiny, bright white winged pygmy owl sits inside the cage.

 

“I got it delivered from Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes earlier this week,” Badru smiles at Ryleigh’s reaction.

 

Ryleigh sets the cage down on Badru’s bed and throws her arms around him, “I love her, I love her! You shouldn’t have. She’s adorable!”

 

Badru chuckles into Ryleigh’s blonde hair, “You’re being adorable. She can deliver letters, too. But she’s tiny, so only small memos and she can’t take them very far. I thought about getting you an owl but-”

 

“She’s perfect,” Ryleigh cuts him off. “Thank you.”

 

\---

 

“I’m going to destroy you, Alastair.” Nolanos is saying while they’re neck-deep in an a competitive game of wizarding chess, and at this point, she wouldn’t be surprised if he started cackling like some kind of fairy tale villain.

 

“You can try, but I’m a great tactician,” Ryleigh taunts, running her finger along the edge of the board and inspecting it for non-existent dust, feigning nonchalance.

 

“It’s true,” Seirixori pipes up, “she slaughtered me last match.”

 

Nolanos rolls his eyes, “You do the exact same moves every game, Iscitan. Even Ravaphine can beat you, and she lets all the pieces have a say like it’s a democracy.”

 

“Why do you call people by their surnames when you’re stressed?” Ryleigh laughs, pushing her hand through her hair as she calculates her next play.

 

“Because it makes him feel authoritative,” Ravaphine’s voice rings out from across the room, Badru following her inside.

 

Badru leans on the armchair next to Ryleigh, watching her tell her knight where to move. “Check,” he says for her and she smiles up at him, pulling him to sit down in the armchair with her, even though the chair is only big enough for one person and he mostly ends up in her lap.

 

Nolanos groans and studies the chess board, his pieces bickering among themselves and yelling at him simultaneously. “It’s not fair, your pieces just listen and don’t argue!”

 

“They had a good leader before I inherited them,” Ryleigh winks at Badru, who blushes slightly. “How was studying?” she asks him while Nolanos figures out his next move.

 

“Ravaphine and I got a lot done,” he gestures to the three rolls of parchment in his bag, “but when you’re done with this game I wanted to show you something I found about raw magic.”

 

“Ah ha!” Nolanos shouts triumphantly, directing his bishop in the exact spot Ryleigh anticipated he would. He looks up at her smugly.

 

Ryleigh plasters a look of worry on her face, “Oh no, you might,” she starts but then smirks at him, “have to practice more. Queen to E5. Checkmate.”

 

Nolanos’ king slams his tiny sword down and walks off the board, making a rude gesture at his owner. Nolanos grumbles and Ravaphine pats his shoulder in a consoling manner, “Better luck next time, love.”

 

“Ravaphine, play me,” Seirixori says determinedly, shooing Ryleigh and Badru out of the armchair.

 

Badru takes Ryleigh’s hand, leads them out of the Ravenclaw common room, and to the library. Once they reach it, he navigates the shelves quickly, pulling an old leather bound book and few smaller books down too. It takes several minutes of page turning and index checking before he’s pushing the largest of the four books towards her.

 

“Start here,” he points to a paragraph, “I’m going to find the other stuff while you read.”

 

Ryleigh starts reading where Badru pointed as he starts to open the other books and mark which sections Ryleigh should read.

 

“ _Vyon achieved independence during the Second Wizarding War after Lucas Moonstream, Champion of Vydea, led a successful revolt against the tyrannical regime of Ascus. The King of Ascus, Arnor Tilman, was enraged by the loss of such fertile land, and of the Wizarding school Hogwarts; so he enlisted, and sometimes forced, the most brilliant witches and wizards in Ascus to create a magical weapon he could wield against Vyon. Magbella Bilynn was the only successful creator. King Tilman’s attempts to retake Vyon failed, as have all of his successors. Vyon remains independent and under the rule of the Moonstream family._ ”

 

“Badru, I know all this. We learned it in History of Magic last year,” Ryleigh says as she finishes the section.

 

“It says that Tilman wanted to create a magical weapon that he could use against Vyon,” Badru recites, waiting for Ryleigh to connect the dots.

 

Ryleigh’s eyes widen with realization, “Magbella Bilynn was successful, but it doesn’t say what she created.”

 

“Exactly,” Badru comments before handing her a book entitled _Dark and Dangerous Creations_. Ryleigh grabs the book and starts reading.

 

“ _After the Second Wizarding War, a brilliant witch named Magbella Bilynn experimented with dementor breeding at the instruction of King Arnor Tilman. The creatures she created were a plague upon the world, monsters of nightmares._ ”

 

“That’s it? Where’s the rest?” Ryleigh skims the paragraph before and after the short two sentence explanation of Magbella Bilynn, before looking up at Badru.

 

He slides two books to Ryleigh, one is a large leather bound book with diagrams of people’s names - family trees - Ryleigh realizes. After a few seconds of looking at the page she sees a horizontal line connecting “Magbella Bilynn” to “Jielze Alastair.” The book directs her to another page that Badru has already marked for her, at the top in bold letters stands “The Noble house of Alastair.” Ryleigh stares at the heading for a solid minute before quickly following the lines to the bottom of the page.

 

“You’re not in there, Ry.” Badru sits next to her and takes her hand in his. “The Alastair family was an ancient Ascean wizarding family, but their bloodline ended 75 years ago,” he explains, pointing to the bottom of the book. “The day we met on the Hogwarts Express, you said your surname was Alastair and it jogged something in my memory of royal families and noble bloodlines. I couldn’t remember at the time, but then it all came back to me once I started researching raw magic.”

 

“What happened to them?” Ryleigh asks, gently running her thumb over the back of Badru’s hand.

 

Badru sighs heavily and hands Ryleigh the last book, which is a small journal with the name “Tanroz Alastair” embossed in silver lettering on the bottom left corner. “They… they were wiped out by Tilman.”

 

Ryleigh runs her hand over the journal’s cover, “Why?”

 

“I’m not sure, but whatever Magbella’s experiments were, it gave the Alastair’s some kind of power. Enough power that Tilman killed them all.” Badru’s voice sounds so defeated and Ryleigh can’t stand it, so she pulls him into a hug. “Ryleigh, what if someone figures out who you are and...”

 

Ryleigh stops him with a soft shush, “I might not be related to these people. We know my birth parents were muggles, so how can I be from an ancient wizarding family that was slaughtered before I was born. I came from nothing, Badru. I am no one.”

 

Badru pulls away from Ryleigh’s hug and studies her seriously for a moment before saying, “You might have come from nothing, but you are someone.”

 

\---

 

In the end, Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup, but most of the school isn’t terribly happy about it, given they only beat Slytherin by taking out their keeper. Ryleigh strongly suspects it has less to do with people actually liking her, and more to do with having a legitimate reason to still have interhouse dissent between Slytherin and Gryffindor.

 

Slytherin still has one game against Ravenclaw, but as neither team has much to gain, it’s a very dramatic and friendly game, with a lot of improbable quaffle shots and some ancient flying formations that Ryleigh’s sure haven’t been used for 500 years. She and Badru have a good time teasing one another throughout the match, and in a lapse of judgement, Headmistress Moonstream allowed Nolanos to substitute for the regular announcer.

 

“Moonstream has possession of the quaffle - great job Badru - he’s really nice, one time he gave me a chocolate frog… I am being impartial, Headmistress, I’m just giving the people the facts. He passes to Faejor, who drops it - that’s okay Faejor, you tried your best - now Slytherin has possession. Dedric is flying towards the Ravenclaw keeper - WOW! That was a sweet move, maybe he can teach me that...”

 

Ryleigh finds herself laughing at Nolanos’ commentary, and it seems like neither team’s seeker is overly eager to catch the snitch and the end the match. All in all, it’s the most fun Ryleigh’s ever had playing Quidditch.

 

\---

 

Ryleigh knows exams are going to easy for Badru, he’s brilliant and with all the studying he does during the year the information is probably printed on his brain, but she’s having no such luck.

 

She turns the pages of her transfiguration book, jotting down some notes, before checking her class notes again and comparing. “I’m going to fail everything,” Ryleigh huffs.

 

Badru absently runs his fingers up and down the top of Ryleigh’s spine - it’s a technique they learned in Herbology for calming a Venomous Tentacula, but Badru has learned it’s also incredibly effective on Ryleigh. After a few minutes of this he glances over at Ryleigh and realizes, with some alarm, that his friend is floating a few inches off the couch.

 

“Um, Ry?” he whispers.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re levitating.”

 

“Oh,” Ryleigh thuds back onto the cushion. “I’ve been practicing raw magic with Professor Moonstream lately,” she offers as an explanation. “She thinks it’ll help with the ‘episodes’ but I can’t control it all the time.”

 

“Do you think one day you’ll be able to fly? Like without a broom?” Badru asks eagerly.

 

“W-what? No, or I don’t think so. I really just want it to go away.” Ryleigh frowns down at her hands.

 

Badru takes her hand in his, “And if it doesn’t?”

 

Ryleigh shrugs, but her mouth is pulled into a thin line and Badru decides not to press the issue.

 

\---

 

After their final exams, Badru and Ryleigh sneak into the kitchens, the house elves excited to give them whatever they ask for. This time, they’re here for celebratory ice cream.

 

“Do you think maybe you can come visit me this summer?” Badru asks.

 

Ryleigh looks up from her bowl of ice cream, “Do you want me to?”

 

He rolls his eyes, “Of course I do, I just asked you, didn’t I?”

 

“I… are you sure?” Ryleigh swirls her spoon in her quickly melting ice cream.

 

“Definitely! Maybe a week or two before classes start back up?” Badru smiles warmly at her.

 

Ryleigh takes Badru’s hand and squeezes it, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

\---

 

Their compartment is packed on the train ride back to Platform 9 ¾. Urrak and Malica are sitting on one side of the compartment with Beiro, while Seirixori sits on the floor with Stool. Badru and Ryleigh are basically sitting on top of each other because Ravaphine and Nolanos are on their bench.

 

They’re all on their way to a sugar high. Urrak and Ravaphine are trying to set a record for who can eat the most chocolate frogs in two minutes. Nolanos is cheering Ravaphine on, while Malica looks disgusted by the show.

 

When they get off the train, Badru hugs Ryleigh so hard her ribs hurt. After about two minutes, Ryleigh laughs, “You can’t hug me all summer.”

 

“Watch me,” comes his muffled reply.

 

Ryleigh smiles but she’s holding onto him just as firmly, “I’ll see you before school starts, okay?”

 

“You better. I’ll send Vydea with the details,” he says as they pull apart.

 

  



	3. Third Year

It’s a month into summer and Ryleigh has exchanged a few letters with Badru about coming to visit before school starts back up. Kizer wanted to have a conversation with Badru’s parents before Ryleigh was allowed to go, and even though she tried to explain who Badru’s parents were - the  _ King _ and  _ Queen _ of Vyon’s wizarding community - Kizer insisted. He nearly jumped three feet in the air when Ambrose’s head appeared in their tiny fireplace; Ryleigh had a good time teasing him about it later. 

 

“ _ Raro a’o _ , would you like to come to the market with me? Help me pick out dinner for tonight?” Kizer’s low voice asks.

 

Leaving her potions book open on the living room floor, Ryleigh gets to her feet and jumps on Kizer’s back, “Yes! I’m going to pick out brussels sprouts.” 

 

“Brussels sprouts,” Kizer chuckles, hoisting Ryleigh further onto his back and grabbing their empty grocery sacks. “This is a new development; have you grown to like them in the last year?”

 

“They aren’t  _ terrible _ ,” Ryleigh sighs, turning her nose up, “but I know Avery hates them, and I want to make him pay for kicking me out of his room last night while he and Clemency were watching a movie.”

 

“They were watching a scary movie that you’re too young to watch,” Kizer comments, as they walk towards the supermarket. “He has your best interest at heart.” 

 

“Ugh.” Ryleigh hops down dramatically. “Not you too! I’m 13 now - officially a  _ teenager _ \- I can handle a scary movie.”

 

He stops walking and studies Ryleigh with a smile on his face, “ _ Raro a’o _ , it isn’t a question of courage, but of maturity.” Ryleigh huffs indignantly at the comment, and Kizer kneels down to her height, gently placing his hand on her shoulder. “You’re growing up so fast, I wish you wouldn’t rush it.”

 

An air of melancholy surrounds them, and it makes Ryleigh immediately stop fussing. She puts her arms around Kizer’s neck, hugs him close and whispers, “I’ll always be your little one,  _ coac _ .”

 

\---

 

It happens so fast that Ryleigh doesn’t have time to react. She hears the gunshots, and she registers the shock on Kizer’s face, but then he’s falling to the ground and blood is soaking his shirt. 

 

“No, no, no,” Ryleigh’s chanting, getting to her knees and pressing her hands to his chest. “Someone get help, please!”

 

Kizer takes Ryleigh’s hand in his. “It’s going to be okay,  _ raro a’o _ . I love you; just be strong. Tell your sister and brother I love them too.” His breathing grows more ragged and shallow by the second, and she knows it’s a lie - it’s not going to be okay. 

 

Ryleigh looks around the market, sobbing, her chest feels like it’s going to shatter. “You can’t die,  _ coac _ . I… I need you, please. Help is coming, someone will help us.” 

 

She watches the tears leak from Kizer’s eyes at her words and the last thing she hears him say is, “I’ll always be with you,” he presses their joined hands to her chest, “in here.” 

 

No one tries to help, and Kizer dies with Ryleigh’s hands pressed to his chest and his mumbled reassurances echoing in her ears. She cries loudly for a few minutes, sobs wracking her body until someone interrupts her and asks, “Is there… anyone we can call to come pick you up?”

 

She feels something dark consume her and when she answers the man, her voice sounds so unlike her own. It’s deadly calm and laced with grief. “You let him die. You all let him die.” 

 

_ No, you did. _ Ryleigh lets out an ear piercing scream that shatters the windows of the building and blasts everyone away from her. The shards of glass don’t fall to the ground, but hover in the air around her, creating a protective barrier between her and Kizer’s body and everyone in the building. 

 

She hears the faint  _ popping _ noise associated with apparition and knows that wizards have arrived. Ryleigh’s adrenaline starts to fade and the last thing she remembers is the sticky feeling of Kizer’s blood on her hands. 

 

\---

 

She wakes instantly, not feeling groggy or disoriented, and looks up at the wizard who just poured a potion down her throat. He immediately steps back, holding his hand up in a non-threatening way, “We’re not going to hurt you; we just need to ask you a few questions.”

 

Ryleigh looks around the dimly lit room. It’s small and empty except for the chair she’s currently sitting in. 

 

“What’s your name?” he asks with a soft smile.

 

“Ryleigh, Ryleigh Alastair,” she answers automatically.

 

“And how old are you Ryleigh?”

 

“I’m 13.”

 

“In your third year at Hogwarts?” he presses further.

 

“I’ll start my third year at the end of summer, yes.” A thought suddenly crosses her mind and before she can stop herself, the question comes tumbling out, fear coating her words, “Are you going to send me to Azkaban?” 

 

The wizard chuckles, “Gods, no. We don’t send children to Azkaban for a bit of raw magic.” 

 

“But I broke the Statute of Secrecy, I used magic in front of muggles  _ and _ I’m underage.” 

 

“We modified the memories of every muggle there. They believe the explosion was caused by a gas leak.” He sighs and runs a hand through his short, brown hair. “I’m sorry, but we need to know if you have… any other family.” 

 

His words knock the air out of her lungs and everything that happened hits her full force. “I do, but they’re muggles,” she chokes. Her chest starts to ache, and her breathing becomes labored.

 

“I know you’ve been through something terrible today, but we’re trying to get you back home. You need to breathe, Ryleigh,” the wizard instructs as he kneels down to look at her.

 

Ryleigh takes a shaky breath, feels the tears start to fall, and when she goes to wipe them away, she sees Kizer’s blood still splattered on her clothes. Her vision starts to blur at the edges and every breath feels like it’s ripping a hole in her chest. The door to the room opens, and a few seconds later, Ryleigh feels a familiar hand on her shoulder.

 

“Ryleigh, look at me,” the voice is firm and soft, and Ryleigh realizes she knows that voice.

 

“P-professor Moonstream?” Ryleigh looks up and Cae’s green eyes are staring back at her. 

 

Before Ryleigh can spiral further, Cae is instructing her to breathe deeply and to focus, “Just like in lessons, in and out, there you go.” Cae turns to the wizard Ryleigh was previously talking to and hands him a letter. He opens the letter, skims it, and shakes Cae’s hand before exiting the room.

 

“Come on, Ryleigh. We need to get you somewhere safe,” Cae says as she helps Ryleigh up, but another wave of panic crashes into Ryleigh.

 

“I… no, I can’t. What about Clemency and Avery?” But then another thought crosses her mind, what if they don’t want to see her, what if they blame her for Kizer’s death.  _ They should. _ “How can I… what will I say to them?”

 

Cae lays her hand on Ryleigh’s shoulder again. “They already know. The police informed them a few hours ago.”

 

\---

 

She side-along apparates with Cae to an alley three blocks from where she lives. Cae, who’s dressed in muggle clothes, leads them to the small apartment with Ryleigh in tow. Ryleigh doesn’t know how Professor Moonstream knows where she lives, but she also doesn’t care to question it. It only takes one knock before the door swings open to reveal a panic stricken Clemency and a very worried Avery. They practically tackle Ryleigh in greeting.

 

“Gods, Ry.” Clemency is gripping onto Ryleigh tightly, like she might disappear. “They wouldn’t tell us where you were, and we know you were with dad, and the police told us…” Her voice cracks. “Are you alright? Where have you been? We’ve been so worried.” 

 

Ryleigh nods numbly, “I’m… I’m fine. Wizards showed up because I used magic...” They move into the apartment, inviting Cae to sit down at their small table. “T-this is Professor Moonstream,” Ryleigh adds.

 

“Would you like some tea, Professor Moonstream?” Avery politely asks Cae, after he’s hugged his sister, relief washing over his handsome features. 

 

“No, thank you. I won’t be staying long and please, call me Cae. I’m here because my wife, the Headmistress of Hogwarts, sent me.” 

 

“Thank you so much for bringing Ryleigh home,” Clemency says, giving Ryleigh a swift kiss on the top of her head.

 

“I know that arrangements need to be made for your loved one,” Cae says before taking a measured breath, “but it isn’t safe for Ryleigh to stay in Ascus.” 

 

The silence that follows is one of the loudest Ryleigh’s ever heard. They’ve just lost their father and now she might have to leave too.

 

“I’d like to take her back with me to Vyon, if she’s willing.”

 

“No,” Ryleigh answers, “I’m not going back to Hogwarts.”

 

“You’re staying in school, Ryleigh,” Clemency says firmly, just as Avery comments, “Yes you  _ are  _ going back to Hogwarts.”

 

“Ryleigh, you know it’s dangerous for you to stay here. They have you on record now, it’s only a matter of time before they come for you.” Cae gives Ryleigh a very stern look.

 

“Which puts them in danger,” Ryleigh says, pointing to Avery and Clemency, “ _ I’ve _ put them in danger, you can’t expect me to run away in fear.”

 

There’s a flicker of smile from Cae. “Sometimes I wonder if we do the sorting too young. We would set up magical defenses to protect Avery and Clemency while they’re home, but there isn’t a lot we can do beyond these four walls.”

 

“My answer is still no,” Ryleigh stubbornly huffs.

 

“Pack your things, you’re leaving with her,” Avery vocalizes and Clemency takes his hand in support.

 

“No, I’m not!” Ryleigh stands abruptly. “I’m not leaving you two.”

 

Clemency give her a stern look, before asking Cae, “Why is it dangerous for Ry to stay?”

 

“She’s an Alastair,” Cae says simply, “the first Alastair in 75 years to possess magic. Your family,” she nods to Avery, “used to be a prominent wizarding family in Ascus, they helped construct creatures called Devourers during the Second Wizarding War.” 

 

Cae adds, “A dark wizard has gained notoriety in the last decade, he calls himself ‘the Maker’ and he can somehow control these creatures.” She rubs at her temples, “Devourer attacks have been on the rise in Ascus for several years, and last week they breached the border of Vyon. The king of Ascus will eventually discover who Ryleigh is, and he will take her to keep his power.”

 

Clemency kneels in front of Ryleigh and cups her cheek, “ _ Homashoc _ , you need to go with Professor Moonstream.” Ryleigh opens her mouth to protest but Clemency cuts her off, “We’ve already lost dad… I can’t bear to lose you too. Please, go with her. We want you safe. Avery and I will manage, we always have.”

 

Ryleigh’s eyes fill with tears, “I’m sorry I couldn’t save him. I’m so sorry…” 

 

Clemency pulls Ryleigh into hug and silences her with a soft shushing sound, before gently running her fingers through Ryleigh’s hair. “None of this is your fault,  _ homashoc.  _ I’m so sorry you were there.” Ryleigh feels Avery’s arms wrap around them both and they all share a few minutes of silent grief, broken only by Ryleigh’s sobs.

 

With a swoosh of her wand, Cae silently packs everything into Ryleigh’s trunk, allowing the siblings some privacy. Ryleigh then says her goodbyes to Clemency and Avery, before they disapparate to Arolis, a city bordering Ascus and Vyon. 

 

“Where are going? Hogwarts?” Ryleigh asks solemnly when they apparate from Arolis into Diagon Alley, in Riverrun. 

 

Cae shakes her head at Ryleigh, “No, but I think you’ll like where I’m taking you, it’s our next stop. Do you need a moment before we apparate again? I know the first few times can be really uncomfortable.” 

 

Even though it feels like her entire body is being squeezed through a straw, Ryleigh looks at Dawnbringer, her tiny pygmy owl, and asks, “You okay?” The tiny white owl hoots softly. “Yeah, we’re good. It’s… been a long day.” 

 

“When we get to our destination, they’ll have a potion for you, one that will give you dreamless sleep,” Cae says. It’s the most gentle Ryleigh has ever heard her voice. 

 

Ryleigh swallows hard, trying desperately not to cry. Cae holds her hand out, Ryleigh takes it and they disapparate.

 

\---

 

They apparate just outside the perimeter of a large castle, and Ryleigh can’t help but goggle. The royal guard at the front gate already have their wands pointed at her and Cae. Cae speaks up and they let them pass without further inquiry. 

 

They’re barely at the foot of the stairs to the door that leads inside of the castle, when it’s suddenly thrown open and Badru comes barrelling out. To Ryleigh’s surprise, Cae steps between them before he can get past the first few stairs.

 

Cae holds up a patient hand and says, “Ryleigh has been through a terrible ordeal today, and she may not be up to talking about it. She needs rest; you guys can catch up tomorrow.” 

 

Badru nods, but there’s worry in his brown eyes. Ryleigh tries to give him a small smile, but she’s sure he sees right through it. Cae walks them into castle where they’re greeted by Badru’s parents.

 

Ambrose gives Ryleigh with a brief “hello” and soft smile before he and Cae disappear into the next room.

 

Nyota holds her hand out to Ryleigh. “We made up the room next to Badru’s for you.” Ryleigh hesitantly reaches out and takes her hand. Nyota starts to lead them up the stairs, “If you need anything while you’re here, just ask. Our home is your home, Ryleigh.” 

 

“Thank you. I… I can help with chores; I don’t want you to go through any more trouble for me,” Ryleigh replies resolutely. “I’m already imposing.” 

 

“No, you’re not,” Badru says fiercely. 

 

Nyota must see in Ryleigh’s eyes that she doesn’t believe him because she reiterates his statement, “You’re not. We’re happy to have you.” They walk in silence for a while before coming to a hallway with a few doors on either side.

 

“This is my room,” Badru murmurs as they pass by a large wooden door. He stops in front of a similar looking door a few feet from his. “And this one is yours.” 

 

Ryleigh takes a mental note that Badru said, “yours” rather than “where you’re staying” and she loves him for it. Nyota opens the door, and the room is larger than Ryleigh’s dormitory in the dungeons at Hogwarts. Her eyes grow wide and she lets out a whispered “wow” before following Nyota inside. She places her trunk next the wardrobe with Dawnbringer’s tiny cage perched on top. 

 

“There’s a bathroom through there; it should be stocked with everything you need.” Nyota motions to a door inside the room. “Why don’t you change and I’ll go put the final touches on the potion that’ll let you sleep without dreaming tonight.” She motions for Badru to follow her out of the room, leaving Ryleigh alone. 

 

Ryleigh opens Dawnbringer’s cage, allowing the pygmy owl to fly around the room a few times. She rummages through her trunk, pulls out her pajamas and quickly changes. Dawnbringer’s impatient hoots draw Ryleigh’s attention to the window. She strokes her owl a few times then cracks the window open. Dawnbringer gives Ryleigh an appreciative hoot and nibbles her finger affectionately before taking off into the night sky. 

 

She’s not sure how long she sat there, staring out into the darkness, but a gentle hand on her shoulder startles her from her thoughts. She looks up at Nyota, noticing that Badru’s eyes are the same shade of warm brown as hers. Ryleigh swallows against the lump in her throat, a familiar stinging building behind her eyes, the dam is threatening to break. She breaks eye contact with Nyota before she can start crying. 

 

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” Nyota’s sympathetic voice is almost too much. Ryleigh follows her and crawls into the massive bed. “Drink this; it’ll help,” she says soothingly. Ryleigh takes several large gulps of the potion and feels it start to work immediately. A warmth spreads through her and her eyelids are strangely heavy. Ryleigh feels gentle fingers brush her bangs aside before sleep takes her.

 

\---

 

The next several weeks are a whirlwind, and completely different to anything Ryleigh has ever experienced. For one thing, she’s always shared a room - at home, at Hogwarts - and it feels strange waking up in an empty room, in a massive bed, alone. She tries to acclimate, but finds herself unable to sleep most nights and when she does sleep her dreams are plagued with Kizer’s death.

 

During the day, Ryleigh and Badru play Quidditch with his younger brother, Kamari. They collect shells on the beach and go swimming, even though Ryleigh doesn’t know how to do more than cautiously wade through the shallow water. 

 

One day Ambrose and Nyota join them and they have a picnic on the beach. They decide to have a sand castle contest and Nyota is picked to judge their creations. Kamari and Badru start working on each of theirs, but Ryleigh’s a little lost because she’s never built one. Ambrose ends up helping her and by the end of the contest, Kamari and Badru are complaining that they should have worked together to make a better sand castle. Ambrose high fives Ryleigh when Nyota deems their sandcastle the best. 

 

That night Ryleigh wakes to someone gently shaking her. Badru’s voice is whispering, “Ryleigh. Ry, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”

 

Her breathing is uneven, she’s sweaty, and the sheets are tangled around her. Badru’s face is blurry and she realizes it’s because she’s crying; consciousness does nothing to stop her tears.

 

“Do - do you want me to hold you for a bit?” Badru hesitantly asks. Thanks to the darkness of the room Ryleigh can’t see the faint blush on his cheeks. She’s silent for so long that he almost stands from where he’s sitting on her bed. 

 

But then Ryleigh’s nodding and shifting over in the bed, so Badru lies down beside her. He wraps his arms around the blonde, letting his fingers trail lightly up and down her spine, sliding over each ridge of vertebrae. 

 

“Breathe, Ryleigh,” he murmurs. Badru starts telling Ryleigh his favorite fairy tale, in its origin language - elven. The melodic sounds seem to work and he’s grateful for the way the unfamiliar tongue seems to roll over Ryleigh, calming her and slowing her wracking sobs. Badru means to move back to his room once Ryleigh feels better, he does. But Ryleigh’s grip on him is so tight, and she’s so warm, that somehow, Badru finds himself falling asleep too. 

 

\---

 

It’s Nyota that finds them asleep in Ryleigh’s bed, tangled together. She gently wakes Badru, “Honey, your father wants to speak to you.” 

 

Badru slowly responds to his mother’s touch and is momentarily disoriented, because this isn’t his room. He feels a blush creep up his neck when he realizes Ryleigh’s head is pressed to his chest. He retracts himself from her, which wakes Ryleigh. She grumbles a little bit before spotting Nyota. 

 

“Of course, mom,” Badru says. He gives Ryleigh an apologetic smile before leaving the room. 

 

Ryleigh sits up, running her hand through her hair nervously and feeling like she’s in trouble. “I… I had a nightmare last night,” Ryleigh offers as an explanation.

 

Nyota sits down on the mattress, giving her a reassuring smile. “Does that happen a lot?” 

 

“The nightmares?” 

 

“No, I’m sure with everything you’ve been through those happen often. I meant Badru sleeping in your bed,” Nyota’s voice is encouraging but firm. 

 

“Oh, that’s never happened before.” Ryleigh swallows thickly. “Are we in trouble?”

 

“We’re just being cautious, Ryleigh. We want to make sure you feel safe while you’re here.”

 

Ryleigh’s eyebrows furrow. “Why wouldn’t I feel safe? You’ve been so welcoming and Badru was just trying to help. I… I couldn’t calm down last night, so he offered to stay. We didn’t mean to fall asleep together.”

 

Nyota’s eyes scan Ryleigh’s features. “I believe you, but I don’t want it to happen again, okay?” Ryleigh finds herself nodding in agreement and Nyota smiles at her. “Let’s go get breakfast. I think Badru and Ambrose’s conversation might take longer than ours.” 

 

\---

 

“I spent the summer with my pa,” Urrak starts, but then adds, “He’s a muggle, and this muggle kid I met at the park told me ‘bout karate. It’s fightin’, like a wizard duel, but without magic or wands. I’ve been gettin’ really good.” Urrak grins at all of them proudly. 

 

Malica rolls her eyes. “My hero,” she says sarcastically. 

 

Ryleigh’s been unusually quiet on the train ride, not really partaking the conversation except to comment here or there. They all know what happened over the summer, and they’re all taking Ryleigh’s lead and not talking about it. 

 

“You just better be prepared to lose the Quidditch cup this year, Urrak.” Seirixori points at Urrak’s shiny new Quidditch Captain badge. “And no cheating this year either,” she quickly says with narrowed eyes. 

 

“Ye know I’d never put up with that, she ain’t makin’ the team this year,” Urrak’s face sours at the idea. 

 

The rain is hammering against the window, and they’re the only ones awake. Ravaphine and Nolanos are sound asleep leaning against one another. Badru is curled up on the seat with his head resting on Ryleigh’s lap, her fingers playing with his absentmindedly while she continues to look blankly out the window. 

 

Their compartment door slides open and a tall human boy with short brown hair, handsome features, and a prefect’s badge, looks around their compartment. “Urrak, can I talk to you real quick?” 

 

“O’ course, Rinan.” Urrak follows him out of the compartment. After a few minutes, Urrak walks back in with a dwarven girl in tow. “We have a newcomer.” 

 

Seirixori looks up from where she’s sitting on the floor under the window and Ryleigh notices her eyes widen. Badru wakes up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He looks up at Ryleigh, his head still resting in her lap, then his eyes flick from Gunnloda to Urrak, and finally to Rinan.

 

Rinan’s still trying to keep his voice down when he introduces the girl. “This is Gunnloda Frostbeard. She just transferred to Hogwarts, and I hope you all can make her feel welcome.” He smiles broadly at all of them and leaves their compartment.

 

“I’m Malica,” the newly appointed Ravenclaw prefect says. “I’m in my fifth year. What year are you going to be transferring in as?” 

 

“I’ll also be a fifth year,” Gunnloda says. “My parents wanted me to do my last few years of magical education at Hogwarts - OWL’s and NEWT’s - all of that.” 

 

“I-I’m Seirixori.” 

 

Gunnloda smiles at the pink tiefling girl, “Nice to meet you, dear. What year are you in?” 

 

“We’re all in our third year, except Urrak and Malica,” Seirixori squeaks out. 

 

“Do you know what house you’ll be in?” Ravaphine asks tiredly from where she’s slumped against Nolanos’ still sleeping figure. 

 

“I’d like to be in Hufflepuff,” Gunnloda says thoughtfully.

 

“My brother’s in Hufflepuff,” Malica comments. “He loves that it’s so close to the kitchens.”

 

“Beiro. Malica’s brother. His name. Hufflepuffs are great.” Seirixori groans loudly and covers her face. 

 

Gunnloda smiles kindly at Malica, while giving Seirixori a confused but soft look, “That sounds wonderful.”

 

\---

 

Ryleigh, at Malcia’s request, sets aside two hours on the weekends to help Urrak prepare for her OWLs. Apparently, according to the Ravenclaw, they don’t get a lot of studying done when they’re together. 

 

“Ye don’t have t’ do this, ye know,” Urrak tells her, as Ryleigh shuffles the Transfiguration index cards with a flick of her wand. 

 

“You didn’t have to hex the girl that knocked me off my broom last year either,” Ryleigh replies, and glances up to find Urrak staring at her thoughtfully. “What?”

 

“I didn’t think ye knew ‘bout that.” Urrak picks at her book bag before sighing. “Yer really not used t’ people just bein’ nice to ye, are ye?”

 

Ryleigh rolls her eyes, twirling her wand distractedly. “I’m a muggle born, who’s in Slytherin, Urrak. If the last two years have taught me anything, it’s that if I sat around waiting for people to be nice to me, I’d be mummified by now.” A dark rain cloud appears above their table.

 

The tiny gnome librarian practically mows over some first years in her haste to yell at Ryleigh for  _ almost _ damaging her precious books with careless magic. Once she retreats from their table, murmuring about how she’s getting too old for this, Ryleigh continues in a whispered voice, “Actually, I’ve got Badru now. And Seirixori.”

 

“And me,” Urrak adds, laying a hand on top of Ryleigh’s.

 

Ryleigh smiles and she realizes that it feels foreign. She briefly wonders how long it’s been since she’s smiled. “And you.” She realizes that she’s not really sure how to thank Urrak, to tell her what that means, so she just coughs and settles for switching to sarcasm - a tactic she’s learned from Badru. “But unless you’re trying to get an E in the non-existent ‘friendship OWL’, we should start on transfiguration.”

 

Urrak’s pretty fluent in sarcasm, though, so Ryleigh thinks she gets it. “Ye got dragonboyo an’ Rav too, y’know. We all care ‘bout ye.” She’s grins at Ryleigh and pulls her transfiguration book near. “I hate studyin’.”

 

The next few days of classes fly by. Each of them get used to their new schedules and the additional homework elective classes bring. 

 

“Aren’t you happy I bullied you into taking Care of Magical Creatures?” Badru asks cheerfully as he practically skips down the hill towards the edge of the forest for their introductory lesson. 

 

“Badru, poking someone repeatedly and pouting until they do as you ask isn’t bullying,” Ryleigh explains, gently knocking her shoulder with his. He sticks out his tongue before linking his arm with Ryleigh’s; they walk the rest of the way together. 

 

Their teacher, Professor Moki, in what is likely an effort to make the first class memorable, teaches them about nifflers. He has the students pair up and select a niffler. The little furry creatures dive in and out of a mound of dirt collecting fake gold pieces. They learn that nifflers love shiny things and are great at finding them. 

 

When she sees the look on Badru’s face when their niffler wins, Ryleigh feels something warm bloom in her chest, and she thinks for the first time since Kizer died, that in this moment she’s happy.

 

\---

 

Badru, Seirixori, Urrak, and Ryleigh are walking from the quidditch pitch back to the castle for breakfast. They’ve been helping Seirixori train for Slytherin tryouts, while brushing up on their own skills.

 

“So, Seirixori. I seen ye givin’ that Gunnloda girl heart eyes on the train.” Urrak makes a kissy face at her. 

 

Seirixori’s pink cheeks darken at Urraks words. “She’s cute,” she tries to sound casual. 

 

“Ye ever kissed anyone, Seir?” Urrak grins.

 

“No,” Seirixori glares at her.

 

“Have any of ye even thought about kissin’ someone?” Urrak wiggles her eyebrow at them.

 

“Yes,” Badru and Seirixori say in unison, blushing profusely. 

 

Ryleigh stares at them with a questioning eyebrow, because she’s never thought about kissing someone. Luckily, they reach the castle at that moment, and Ryleigh flees into the Great Hall before Urrak can continue her interrogation or the others recognize she didn’t answer.

 

A few days later, it’s Slytherin quidditch tryouts. Ryleigh and Seirixori trudge down to the pitch together, broomsticks thrown over their shoulders.

 

“Nervous?” Ryleigh asks.

 

“Yeah, what if… w-what if I’m terrible and we lose every match because I can’t catch the snitch, and then everyone in school hates me, and-”

 

Ryleigh pulls Seirixori to a stop with a hand on her elbow. “Hey, look at me.” Seirixori twists her broomhandle a few times before looking at Ryleigh. “We’ve been practicing every morning this week before breakfast, so I know you’re going to do great. Besides, if the school ends up hating you at least you’ll have me for company.” Ryleigh gives Seirixori a sad smile.

 

“The school doesn’t hate you, Ry. They just… they don’t know you. All they know is that you hurt people when you get mad.” Seirixori bites her lip, knowing she’s approaching a touchy subject. “If you were in Gryffindor they’d see you as a hero or a defender, but you’re a Slytherin, so you’re either crazy or evil.” Seirixori laughs at herself and smiles wide enough to show her pointed teeth. 

 

“They’re missing out, because you’re loyal and kind, and you’d defend anyone who’s being mistreated - not just your friends.” She hugs Ryleigh and it’s a little awkward because they’re holding their broomsticks, but Ryleigh appreciates the gesture. 

 

“Are you two coming or what?” Holden, the Slytherin captain, calls from the pitch. “I can’t start tryouts with you, Ryleigh, come on!”

 

They both mount their brooms and zoom towards the small crowd, touching down moments later. Ryleigh takes her spot with the returning team members, while Seirixori stands with three other applicants.

 

“Alright, now that we’re all here,” Holden gives a Ryleigh a pointed look, “please tell me your name and the position you’re trying out for.” 

 

Seirixori and another girl are trying out for Seeker, then there’s a sixth year boy trying out for Beater, and Connell Barham is there to try out for Keeper - again. Ryleigh rolls her eyes when Connell smiles at her. 

 

“His smirk makes me want to punch his pretty face,” Ryleigh mumbles to Holden.

 

He laughs and says, “Wow, Ryleigh. That was almost a compliment.”

 

After a few minutes, Seirixori and the other girl mount their brooms and take off around the pitch to warm up. Then Holden releases the golden snitch. Ryleigh spots their group of friends in the stands, cheering for Seirixori as she searches for the little golden ball. 

 

Suddenly, Seirixori bolts toward the ground just as Ryleigh catches a golden glimmer at the base of the visitor’s goal post. Within seconds, Seirixori’s hand is closing around snitch and she’s pulling out a spectacular dive. She nearly bowls Ryleigh over when she lands, excitement written all over her face as she glances at the golden ball trying to free itself from her grasp.    
  


The boy who tries out for Beater manages to hit one of their chasers with a well placed bludger, but the returning Slytherin Beater outperforms him overall, securing his position for the season. Holden makes Connell try out first, he misses two of the five penalty shots. When it’s Ryleigh’s turn to defend the hoops she saves all five shots. Feeling better than she has in a while, she does a victory lap around the pitch before landing next to her teammates. 

 

Their first match is against Gryffindor in a few weeks, and Ryleigh feels pretty confident that this Slytherin team has a really good chance of winning the Quidditch Cup.

 

\---

 

All of the third years are excited for their first Hogsmeade weekend. It’s all anyone can talk about in the week leading up to it. Their small group is gathered in the courtyard, the weather permitting them to study outside for a change. 

 

Badru, Malica, and Ravaphine are sitting on the grass having a deep conversation about the uses of dragon’s blood. A short distance from them, Gunnloda comments that Seirixori looks a bit peaky and should go to the hospital wing or eat something hardy. Nolanos and Beiro are absent from the group today, they were awarded detention after accidentally blowing up half the trophy room. This leaves Ryleigh and Urrak sitting on a nearby bench casually watching their friends.

 

“Ry, I want ye to know that Gryffindor ain’t gonna try anythin’ funny this year. I promise ye we’re winnin’ that cup fair and square,” Urrak pulls her eyes from Malica to look at Ryleigh, smirking at her. 

 

“You’ll be hard pressed to find a better team than Slytherin,” Ryleigh responds, placing her finger in between the pages of her book to mark her place. 

 

“I’ve made some changes t’ th’ roster and I think we have a fightin’ chance.”

 

As if on cue, Rinan, the prefect boy from the train, walks across the courtyard towards Urrak, his hand raised in greeting. “Hey, Captain. Are we having practice this weekend?”

 

“Nah, all the younger kids are excited about Hogsmeade,” Urrak chuckles, “but if yer not goin’ we can run some drills. I’ll have time.” 

 

Rinan smiles, “No, thanks for offering though. I was actually asking so I could make Hogsmeade plans.” He turns to Ryleigh and asks, “It’s Ryleigh, right?” He scratches the back of his neck a little awkwardly. 

 

Ryleigh nods. 

 

“Could I have a word?” Rinan asks. 

 

Ryleigh raises an inquiring eyebrow.

 

“Uh,” he glances at Urrak, who’s looking from Ryleigh to Rinan, “It’s about Badru.”

 

Ryleigh’s eyes narrow and she crosses her arms over her chest, gesturing for him to say what he needs too. It wouldn’t be the first time someone thought she was unworthy of Badru’s friendship.

 

“Do you know if he’s dating anyone?”

 

Urrak lets out an awkward cough and excuses herself. “Ye know, I’m just gonna-” but she doesn’t finish her sentence and just walks over to sit behind Malica, whispering something to her. 

 

“I want to know if he has a girlfriend - or boyfriend?” Rinan clarifies. 

 

Ryleigh stares at Rinan for a good 30 seconds, he starts to shuffle his feet, and looks like he’s about to turn away when Ryleigh speaks up, “No, he doesn’t.” 

 

Rinan looks relieved that Ryleigh finally spoke. “I know you two are close, I just wasn’t sure how close.”

 

Ryleigh looks over at Badru, who’s actually watching them, but she knows he’s too far to hear what they’re saying. “He’s special. He’s my best friend.” The softness in her expression disappears as she looks back at Rinan, “If you hurt him, I’ll hurt you.” 

 

“I want to get to know him better. I don’t have any ill intent,” Rinan says, and smiles easily at her. She studies him for a moment longer than someone normally would, before motioning to Badru to come over.

 

He’s been watching them since Urrak sat down, so he quickly walks to Ryleigh and sits next to her. “What’s going on Ry?” 

 

“Rinan wants to ask you something. I’m going to be right over there, okay?” Ryleigh squeezes Badru’s hand, and goes to sit with Urrak, Malica, and Ravaphine.

 

Ryleigh watches Badru and Rinan’s conversation, carefully picking up on Badru’s body language to make sure he isn’t uncomfortable. After several minutes Rinan walks away, briefly waving to all of them, while Badru takes his usual seat next to Ryleigh. They all look at him expectantly. 

 

“He asked me if I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him this weekend,” Badru says, fidgeting with his own fingers.

 

“And?” Ryleigh asks.

 

“I told him no,” Badru twists the sleeve of his robe, “It’s our first visit to Hogsmeade and promised I’d go with you.”  

 

\---

 

Ryleigh’s laying at the top of the astronomy tower, her feet dangling off the edge. She’s been up here a while because the sky is starting to change from blues to purples and pinks. Someone is coming up the stairs, she can hear their footsteps echo off the stone.

 

“There you are,” Badru’s voice travels to her, “I’ve been looking for you. Seirixori said you weren’t in transfiguration. And when she checked the Slytherin dormitory, you weren’t there either. Then you didn’t show up for dinner. We asked the others and they all said they hadn’t seen you since this afternoon in the courtyard.” Ryleigh stays silent, continuing to look up at the sky. After a few minutes Badru invades her vision. “What’s wrong?”

 

She shrugs, “I didn’t feel like going to class and I’m not hungry.”

 

He takes a seat next to her, sitting with his legs crossed. “Talk to me?” 

 

“I don’t know how to talk about it,” Ryleigh breathes out.

 

“Okay, let’s start slow. Why are you up here?”

 

“To get away.”

 

“From who?” Badru asks after several seconds.

 

“From everyone,” Ryleigh says simply, still not looking at him.

 

“From me too?” 

 

“Yes,” she whispers, finally turning to look at him, and she can see hurt flash across his features.

 

“Do you want me to leave?” Badru swallows hard, and Ryleigh knows he will if she asks him to. 

 

“No,” Ryleigh continues to look at him, so he knows she means it. 

 

They sit in silence for a while, watching the sun slowly sink behind the mountains. “Being my friend stops you from doing things you want to do,” Ryleigh suddenly says.

 

“What?” Badru looks confused.

 

“You said no to Rinan because of me. I could tell you were upset about saying no when you came back to the group.”

 

Badru scoots closer to Ryleigh, his shoulder brushing hers. “I didn’t say no _ just  _ because of you, Ry. I want to go to Hogsmeade with you. I want to watch you drink butterbeer for the first time. I want to buy us sweets from Honeydukes and get a sugar high on the way back to school. I said no because I really want to go with you, but also because…” he buries his face in his hands, “I’ve never thought about liking a boy until he asked me out.” 

 

Ryleigh reaches over and gently pries one of Badru’s hands from his face, then takes his hand in hers, “So you were nervous about maybe liking a boy?”

 

“Yes,” Badru blushes slightly.

 

“It wasn’t because you were upset with me? Or… feel obligated to be my friend?”

 

“Ryleigh, I’ll always talk to you if you’re the one upsetting me and I’ve never felt obligated to be your friend.”  

 

She leans her head on his shoulder, silent tears running down Ryleigh’s cheeks. “I never want you to feel like you have to miss out on something because of me. Because, I’m not okay.”

 

Badru wraps his arm around her and mumbles into her hair, “We need to talk about it soon.” He feels her nod, and pulls her closer. They don’t move until the stars overhead are bright against an inky black sky.

 

\---

 

Ryleigh and Badru are walking down the path towards Hogsmeade, chatting about what to do first. 

 

“There’s the Three Broomsticks, and Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, and Honeydukes,” Badru lists off the places he wants to go.

 

“We just had breakfast, so let’s go to Honeydukes first. That way you don’t spend too much money on sweets,” Ryleigh suggests. 

 

Badru rolls his eyes at her, “I’ve been saving my allowance since last year to stockpile Honeydukes chocolate. It doesn’t matter that we just had breakfast, I’m buying enough to last us through the holidays!” 

 

Ryleigh smiles and shakes her head. “Fine,” she stops before finishing her thought. “Hey, Rinan!” Ryleigh yells after spotting the boy ahead of them, Badru urgently shushes her, but she just smiles at him as Rinan approaches.

 

“Hello,” Rinan greets them politely.

 

“We were just trying to decide what to do first in Hogsmeade. I think we could use your expertise, would you like to join us?” Ryleigh says.

 

Rinan looks a little taken aback at the invite but he smiles and agrees quickly. “The Three Broomsticks? Butterbeer is the best way to start off a Hogsmeade visit.” 

 

They snag a table at the Three Broomsticks, while Rinan goes to the counter to grab them butterbeers.

 

“Why’d you invite him?” Badru quickly whispers to her when Rinan leaves. 

 

“I thought it’d make you happy,” Ryleigh answers, and she knows she made the right choice when Badru smiles at her and pulls her into a hug.

 

“Thanks, Ry.” He says before letting her go and sitting back in his seat. Rinan comes back with their drinks, handing a butterbeer to Ryleigh and Badru. 

 

They spend most of the afternoon in the Three Broomsticks. Rinan and Badru carrying the conversation, which Ryleigh is thankful for because conversation feels like a chore these days. Soon they’re joined by Seirixori and Gunnloda, who are quickly followed in by Beiro, Nolanos, and Ravaphine. 

 

Their table is crowded and rowdy. Beiro tries his best to convince the bartender that he’s old enough for Fire Whiskey, and to no one’s surprise he’s so transparent that she hands him a butterbeer and tells him to come back in a few years. Seirixori consumes so much sugar that they’re all fairly sure she’s probably going to spontaneously combust. Ravaphine and Nolanos spend a small fortune at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, buying a huge number of Weasley’s Wild Fire Whiz-bangs for who-knows-what. When Ryleigh starts to usher them back to the castle she feels like she’s herding cats, and surprisingly it feels nice to take responsibility for something that isn’t bad. 

 

Once inside the castle, they all start to head to their dormitories. After a spectacular sugar crash, Ryleigh finds herself helping a very sleepy Seirixori to the dungeons. Badru calls out to her before they can disappear down the dungeon corridor. She turns back and can see Rinan waiting for him on the stairs. Badru runs to her and envelops her in a tight hug, which she immediately returns. 

 

“Today was great,” Badru pulls away with a huge smile on his face. “Thanks for inviting Rinan, h-he’s going to walk me to my dorm,” he says, blushing.  

 

Ryleigh smiles happily at him, “Well, don’t keep him waiting.” 

 

With one last grin, Badru runs back to the grand staircase and Ryleigh disappears with Seirixori into the dungeons. 

 

\---

 

Slytherin’s first quidditch match against Gryffindor goes great. None of the Gryffindors try anything - not that she expected them to. But she thinks, maybe, she plays better knowing that Urrak is looking out for her. 

 

And, of course, Nolanos’s endlessly cheerful and entertaining commentary make quidditch ten times more amusing. He’s been permanently appointed commentator now, since the previous one graduated. Ravaphine had tried commentating by Professor Moonstream felt her commentary was too colorful. Now Professor Moonstream makes a show of shaking her head every time Nolanos offers an off-topic observation during the match, but Ryleigh knows for a fact that it was she who gave Nolanos the position. 

 

Both teams are neck and neck the entire match, but Seirixori catches the snitch and secures Slytherin’s victory. Despite losing, Urrak and Rinan join them in the Slytherin common room to celebrate Seirixori’s first official snitch catch. Seirixori is holding the snitch above her head, surrounded by her teammates and cheering Slytherins, when Gunnloda walks up and pulls her into a kiss. The entire room erupts in wolf whistles and cheers, and when Seirixori surfaces from the kiss her cheeks are bright red. 

 

Overall, it’s the most satisfying quidditch match Ryleigh’s played. 

 

\---

 

Against everyone’s wishes and advice, Ryleigh goes home for Christmas. She can’t stand the idea of being away from Avery and Clemency on their first Christmas without Kizer, and at least they’ll understand the hollowness in her chest.

 

In the first few days of being home Ryleigh half expects Kizer to walk through the door with food or gifts in his arms. Reality sets in when Avery puts the star on top of the tree. It was their tradition to start off the holidays by placing the tree topper, but this season they all stare at it with heavy hearts, because everything just feels off. 

 

One night, Ryleigh wakes from a nightmare and sneaks into Avery’s room. She takes one of Kizer’s sweatshirts and wraps it around herself. It still smells like him and it’s in that moment that she realizes she’ll never be able hug him again, or hear his laugh, and that nothing will ever be the same as it was before. 

 

Some days she can’t be in the apartment, because everything there has a memory attached to it. So she leaves and she knows it’s dangerous, but she does it anyway. Ryleigh feels like someone is watching her everytime she slips away, her instincts scream at her to go back inside, but she doesn’t. It’s nice to feel something different from the overwhelming numbness that plagues her now. 

 

Coming home was not the comfort she thought it’d be, and when she boards the Hogwarts Express, she feels more lost than ever. 

 

Only a few of them went home for the holidays, so the compartment Ryleigh’s sitting in is occupied by Urrak, Seirixori, and Badru. They all talk about their presents and festivities. None of them press her for more after receiving an “it was fine.” She’s glad because she feels like she’s barely holding it together so they don’t worry too much. Badru holds her hand the entire train ride to Hogwarts and when the other two fall asleep, he hugs her. She lets herself silently cry into his chest for a few minutes while he whispers quiet reassurances in her ear. They don’t talk, but they do stay like that until the others start to stir. 

 

\---

 

Once Ryleigh’s back at Hogwarts, her sleep is so filled with nightmares that she gives up trying to rest as if she’s kicking a bad addiction. She gets too restless laying in her four poster bed, so she treks down to the common room, but then Seirixori catches her there several nights in row, and doesn’t want her to worry - so she takes to roaming the castle.

 

Badru asks about the dark circles under her eyes and Ryleigh tells him that she’s just up studying late. She knows he doesn’t believe her, but he also doesn’t press. 

 

Two weeks later Ryleigh is pulling Badru down corridor after corridor just after they’ve had their lunch break. 

 

“Where are we going?” Badru asks.

 

“Trust me, it’s worth skipping class for.” She feels excited, she’s found something super cool to show Badru. 

 

Once they reach the third floor, Ryleigh taps her wand against the statue of the One Eyed Witch and whispers, “Dissendium.” The hump slides back to reveal a secret passageway.

 

“Badru, I followed it and it leads to Honeydukes cellar. Come on.” She tugs on the sleeve of Badru’s robes, but he doesn’t move.

 

“Ry, how did you find this?”

 

Ryleigh stiffens. “Umm…” her past experience says that she can’t lie to Badru, so she settles on an abbreviated version of the truth. “Well, sometimes… when I can’t sleep, I wander around a bit. I came across this a few nights ago, but I wanted to make sure it worked every time before I brought you.”

 

Badru steps closer and sweeps his thumbs over the bruises under Ryleigh’s violet eyes. “And how often can’t you sleep?”

 

Ryleigh swallows. “Come on, Badru, don’t you want to go to Honeydukes?”

 

“No,” is the instant reply, and Badru’s eyes flare in a way that Ryleigh knows it means he’s about to be particularly protective. “I want to know what’s going on with you. Please, tell me.”

 

Ryleigh slumps against the wall. “Badru…”

 

“You’re my best friend. Nothing -  _ nothing _ \- you can say is going to change that,” Badru tells her, reaching out and taking her hand. Ryleigh doesn’t try to pull away, she can’t, Badru’s a magnet. “You grew up with people pushing you aside or away, and when you found stability, that was taken from you too. It’s like… you think you’re a burden to everyone around you. Like you’re afraid to ask for help because it’s asking for too much.” Badru takes a deep breath; his eyes are fixed on Ryleigh’s, and it makes her breath catch. “Let me help you, because I want to, Ry.”

 

There is a long, quiet moment. The passageway slides back with a thud, but neither of them moves. Badru’s fingers tighten around Ryleigh’s as the seconds tick by. 

 

“Okay,” Ryleigh says finally, and she means it.

 

Badru smiles and pulls her close, “So tell me what’s wrong.”

 

They end up skipping class, but not because they take the secret passage to Honeydukes. Instead, Badru and Ryleigh end up at the top of the astronomy tower, where she confides in him that she doesn’t know how to be okay anymore. Ryleigh tells him what happened over the holiday break, how home doesn’t feel like home anymore, how she finally accepted that Kizer was gone. 

 

“What good is having magic if I couldn’t save him?” Ryleigh sobs into Badru’s chest.

 

He holds her close and whispers, “Magic has its limitations, Ry.”

 

“I felt smothered and numb. Everything was just wrong.” Ryleigh wipes at her eyes furiously. “I left the apartment because I couldn’t stand to be there anymore, I felt trapped.” 

 

“You didn’t. Ryleigh, you  _ know _ how dangerous it is for you to wander off alone in Ascus, that-” Badru stops abruptly, realizing that this moment probably isn’t the best time to lecture Ryleigh, especially since she chose to tell him when she didn’t have to.

 

“I just wanted to feel anything other the crushing emptiness, I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry.” Ryleigh cries for a long time after that, finally letting it out after months of locking it away. By the end she feels exhausted, but also lighter. 

 

\---

 

Ravenclaw manages to beat Slytherin in the championship match for the quidditch cup. Ryleigh’s a little bummed they lost but when Badru hugs her, beaming while holding the quidditch cup, she still feels like a winner. Their group holds a celebration party in the Ravenclaw common room. 

 

Nolanos and Ravaphine use some of their Whiz-Bang fireworks, painting the Ravenclaw common room with brightly colored dragons and hippogriffs. Ryleigh sneaks to the kitchens and comes back with butterbeer and snacks. Shortly before midnight, the Ravenclaw Head of House tells them to go to bed, but they’re all having such a good time that it’s nearly 3am when they’re literally shooed out of the Ravenclaw common room by the Head of House.  

 

In the final weeks of term, a fleet of Aurors come to Hogwarts to conduct an investigation into possible weaknesses in the castle’s defenses. They also require the students to attend an assembly about safety precautions while they’re away from Hogwarts.

 

“Well, that was weird,” Urrak says as they leave the assembly, her arm thrown over Malica’s shoulder.

 

Badru looks worried as he answers, “There must be something going on outside of Hogwarts.” 

 

Rinan takes Badru’s hand and presses a kiss to it, “I read about multiple attacks on muggle towns near the border of Vyon and Ascus in the Prophet. Muggles are reporting odd mist and a chill in the air before the attacks, so maybe it’s dementors?”

 

Ryleigh bites her lip, remembering something Cae said last summer, but she isn’t sure she should share. Of course, Badru notices her silence and pokes her in the ribs, “I can hear you thinking, want to share?”

 

“I don’t think it’s dementors,” Ryleigh says, and they all stare at her. “Professor Moonstream said something about creatures called Devourers attacking the border cities of Vyon last summer.”

 

“Devourers?” Seirixori looks puzzled, like she’s rolling through an index of magical creatures in her head and comes up with nothing.

 

“Whatever it is, they’d never attack Hogwarts. It’s suicide.” Urrak declares with a serious expression.

 

Malica giggles at her girlfriend, shaking her head, “Urrak, Hogwarts has been attacked several times over the course of its history. The most recent was in the Second Wizarding War nearly 200 years ago.” 

 

“It’d make sense to attack Hogwarts because whoever controls it controls the next generation of witches and wizards,” Badru comments.

 

“I’m sure it was just a precaution, they even reminded us we aren’t allowed to do magic outside of school,” Rinan assures them. 

 

“Ryleigh, the Headmistress would like to see you,” Professor Moonstream says, walking towards their group, “Follow me.”

 

Her friends all stare at her confused, except Badru, his is a look of worry. She gives him a reassuring smile before following Cae up the Grand Staircase and to the Headmistress’s office. They reach the third floor and stop in front of a large stone gargoyle. 

 

“Quiet Dewberry.” Cae motions for Ryleigh to stand on the stairs with her, and Ryleigh does. Almost at once the circular stone staircase slowly starts to rise.

 

The Headmistress’s office is a large circular room with a lot of windows and portraits of old headmasters and headmistresses. Ryleigh spots the Sorting Hat sitting on a pedestal and an assortment of magical instruments. A large wooden, ornate desk dominates the room, and behind it is Eloise, the woman who came to Ryleigh’s home three years ago to tell her about the world of magic.  

 

Eloise conjures a chair in front of her desk for Ryleigh to sit in, and Cae moves to stand behind her wife. “Miss Alastair, please sit.” 

 

Ryleigh does and tries not to fidget, “Am I in trouble, Headmistress?” 

 

“No,” Eloise smiles, “I- we need to discuss some things before you leave Hogwarts. We, with support from the government, believe you shouldn’t return to Ascus. The Maker’s presence is steadily growing and we’re worried about your safety.” 

 

“I’m going home. I need to see my family, especially if they’re in danger,” Ryleigh replies, but it’s hard to keep the edge out of her voice. 

 

“That’s what I thought you’d say.” Cae says, with a flicker of a smile. “In that case, you need to prepared for what awaits you. Devourer sightings are happening in all major cities and the Maker is becoming more bold. I want you to carry your wand on you at all times.”

 

“But… I’m not allowed to magic outside of school,” Ryleigh answers.

 

“The Statute of Secrecy allows underage witches and wizards to use magic in exceptional circumstances, such as self-defence and other life-threatening situations. So, keep your wand on you at all times. If you get in trouble, we’ll know and someone from Hogwarts will come get you.” Cae exchanges a significant look with Eloise before saying, “Don’t trust the Ascus government, if they do know who you are, they will find any reason to arrest you.”

 

Ryleigh nods and swallows, “Okay.”

 

\---

 

Ryleigh tells Badru about her conversation with the Moonstreams. Naturally, he’s been trying to convince her for the last week not to go home. 

 

“Come stay with us again this summer,” Badru says from the couch in Slytherin’s common room, as Ryleigh levitates her trunk and Dawnbringer’s cage down from her dormitory. 

 

“Avery and Clemency -”

 

“Want you to be somewhere safe,” he reminds her.

 

“Your parents -”

 

“Would love to have you back, and I would too.”

 

Ryleigh sighs heavily as she sits next to Badru on the couch, “I need to go home for some of the summer. They’re all I have.” 

 

Badru takes her hand, “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that. You have Seirixori, and Urrak… and me.”

 

She allows herself a grin and leans her head on Badru’s shoulder. Ryleigh can feel the steady rise and fall of every breath he takes, and it’s peaceful. 

 

“I’m working on being more positive, believing in people, and in myself, too. But I guess it’s hard to change the way my thoughts are, sorry,” Ryleigh mumbles, her eyes closed, lulled by the barely-audible echoes of Badru’s heartbeat.

 

“I know you’re trying, so don’t apologize. I just wish you could see you the way I see you,” he replies. “Write to me if you’re struggling?”

 

“I’ll try to write, I don’t want you to worry.” Ryleigh pauses, before saying, “I’m going to miss you.”

 

Badru rests his head on hers, “I’m going to miss you too, Ry. Please… stay safe.”

 

\---

 

The train ride home is a little melancholy. Despite her plan to exchange letters with Badru and keep an open line of communication with Avery and Clemency, she’s worried she’ll fall back into the depression that troubled her most of the year. Badru cheerful talks about what they’ll do once Ryleigh visits over the summer, while Urrak talks about seeing Malica at some point too. Only Gunnloda seems to understand her mood, maybe she’s returning to memories she’d rather not talk about too. 

 

Just before they all disembark, Malica slips her an envelope. Ryleigh opens it with a confused expression. Inside is a photo of all of them after Slytherin won their first quidditch last year. In the picture, Gunnloda is pulling Seirixori into a kiss, while Urrak cheers just behind them. Ravaphine and Nolanos are engaged in some kind of half-hug, half-headlock off to the side, and Badru is settled in Ryleigh’s lap, pinching her cheek. They all look so cheerful and bright and it makes her heart ache, in a good way.

 

“In case you start to forget that they all love you,” Malica murmurs so the others don’t hear. 

 

Ryleigh feels a stinging behind her eyes and she nods her thanks, not trusting her voice. The older girl rests her hand on Ryleigh’s shoulder in a knowing way, she lets go just as Urrak steps up behind Malica and wraps her arms around her. Ryleigh glances back at the picture again, before sliding it into the envelope, she hears Badru laugh at something Ravaphine said and wishes she could put that sound in the envelope, too.

  
  



	4. Fourth Year

The first few weeks of summer crawl by at a snail’s pace. Avery and Clemency work during the day, so Ryleigh’s home alone a lot of the time. Since she shouldn’t leave the apartment, she spends most of her days reading over her school books and trying to teach Dawnbringer tricks. Ryleigh believes her pygmy owl is just humoring her, because she’s knows her owner is lonely. Her evenings are spent helping cook dinner with her family. They cook together, eat together, and clean up together. It _almost_ feels like it used to.

 

In the fourth week of summer, Ryleigh gets her fourth letter from Badru. She excitedly opens the window before realizing that some of Vydea’s feathers are sticking up at strange angles. Ryleigh quickly shuts the window that Vydea just flew through and rushes over to help the owl, who’s hooting in a higher pitch than usual.

 

“It’s okay, Vydea,” Ryleigh strokes the owl tenderly. “Did someone try to stop you from delivering your letter?” Vydea hoots. Ryleigh takes the letter and shoves it into her pocket. Dawnbringer flies over to window, she starts pecking at it, squawking loudly. Ryleigh looks through the glass into the alleyway below, spotting two hooded figures. She picks up the telephone and dials Avery’s work number.

 

He answers on the third ring, “Avery Alastair.”

 

“Avery!” Ryleigh shouts. “There are two hooded figures in the alley near the apartment. I’m pretty sure they just tried to hurt Vydea.”

 

“I’m coming home,” he responds, and Ryleigh can hear papers shuffling in the background.

 

“No,” Ryleigh insists, “Avery you shouldn’t come home. They may be wizards and… just don’t come home. I’m calling Clemency next.” She hangs up before Avery can argue with her more.

 

Ryleigh dials Clemency’s number with shaky fingers, the phone rings, and rings, and goes to voicemail. She waits a few seconds, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart before dialing the number again. It rings, and rings, and goes to voicemail.

 

She calls Avery back, as soon as she hears him pick up shes talking, “I can’t get ahold of Clemency, Av. I’ve called her twice, can you try her?”

 

“Yeah, let me call you back,” he says and hangs up.

 

Ryleigh throws the phone with more force than necessary at the couch. It feels like an eternity before Avery calls her back.

 

“Ry?” Avery’s voice comes across the line. “She isn’t answering for me either.”

 

“Shit!” Ryleigh shouts, and she half hears Avery reprimand her. She hears a commotion outside and immediately drops the phone.

 

She runs out of the apartment and reaches the bottom of the stairs within seconds. Her brain registers the eerie chill in the air and the mist that’s suddenly appeared, but when she spots Clemency on her knees, hands covering her eyes and groceries strewn across the pavement, she doesn’t have time to think about _what_ is causing the atmosphere change.

 

“Clemency, we have to move, come-” Ryleigh’s words are drowned out by a deep, rattling breath. A hooded, dark mass with shining white eyes is reaching out of the darkness with a blackened, oily hand towards Clemency. But she doesn’t budge, her entire body is frozen in fear.

 

Ryleigh swishes her wand through the air, “Wingardium Leviosa!” The older girl starts to levitate off the ground and less than a second later Ryleigh shouts, “Accio!” Clemency comes zooming towards her, just as the creature swipes at where Clemency had just been.

 

Running back up the stairs with Clemency in tow, Ryleigh can feel the creature’s chill and hear its rattling breaths right behind them. The apartment door bangs open on its own accord, Clemency’s crying figure zooms inside with a flick of Ryleigh’s wand. Ryleigh tumbles into the apartment after her, slamming the door shut with jab of her wand. She yells, “Protego Totalum!” Hoping that reading the theory behind protective spells and her practiced wand motions are enough to secure them.

 

After several minutes of waiting with her wand pointed at the door, Ryleigh’s breathing returns to normal, while Clemency’s sobs soften. Nothing comes through the door, and feeling satisfied that nothing will, Ryleigh scrambles to her feet and rushes to Clemency, pulling her close.

 

“Clemency, it’s okay. You’re safe now.” Ryleigh runs her hand through Clemency’s hair in a soothing motion, and eventually she stops crying.

 

“Ry?” Clemency’s voice cracks.

 

“I’m here, _sasom_.” Ryleigh answers softly.

 

“But how?”

 

Ryleigh’s confused by Clemency’s reply, but before she can ask about it a loud _CRACK_ echoes around the room _._ A tiny house elf, bearing the Hogwarts crest on his chest, bows deeply to her and says in a squeaky voice, “Sorry to bother you Miss Ryleigh, but Headmistress Moonstream sent me because she’s unable to reach you.”

 

“Eloise knows?” Ryleigh sighs with relief.

 

“Yes, Miss. She was informed that you used magic in the presence of a muggle and asked me to bring you back,” the house elf says politely.

 

“My brother isn’t home, and my sister isn’t okay. I can’t leave her. Whatever attacked us, it… well, I don’t know what it did to her.” Ryleigh suddenly remembers that Avery was on the phone with her when everything happened. “Could you excuse me for just a moment?” She tells the house elf before quickly dialing Avery’s number - he answers on the first ring.

 

“Ryleigh?” his voice is urgent.

 

“Avery,” she breathes out, “Clemency is here, something attacked her. I think she’s fine physically but… she’s really upset.”

 

“I’m on my way home, I’ll be there soon.”

 

“Hurry,” she responds.

 

Ryleigh hangs up the phone and asks the house elf, “What’s your name?”

 

“Cabky,” the tiny elf replies.

 

“Cabky, could you go back to Hogwarts and tell Eloise that something that looked like a dementor attacked us? And that I can’t leave until my brother gets home.” Ryleigh smiles at the elf.

 

“Certainly, Miss Ryleigh,” Cabky says and with another loud _CRACK_ he’s gone.

 

“Clemency,” Ryleigh says softly, kneeling down next to her.

 

Clemency’s hands cup Ryleigh’s face, dried tears still present on her cheeks. “Ry, I thought… I saw you die.”

 

Ryleigh takes one of Clemency’s hands and presses it to her chest, against her heart, “I’m right here, _sasom_.”

 

After a few seconds, she pulls Ryleigh into a tight hug. They cling to each other until the loud _CRACK_ announcing Cabky’s return breaks the silence. Except this time Cabky isn’t alone, and relief washes over Ryleigh at the sight of Cae.

 

“Professor Moonstream, my sister was attacked by a dementor thing,” Ryleigh quickly explains.

 

Cae moves swiftly to Clemency, she looks into Clemency’s eyes for a few seconds before reaching into her cloak pocket and pulling out a bright purple potion, “Drink this and you’ll feel better. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can give you to erase what you saw.”

 

“What she saw?” Ryleigh asks.

 

Clemency drinks the potion, and she looks better within seconds, the color returning to her cheeks, the light reappearing in her eyes. “Thank you,” she quietly says to Cae.

 

“Your welcome,” Cae says to Clemency, “Ryleigh, what you faced wasn’t a dementor, it was a devourer. Unlike dementors, devourers don’t make you relive your worst memories, they project your worst fears and feed off emotion.”

 

That’s why Clemency thought she was dead. She takes her sister’s hand and whispers, “I’m so sorry you had to see that, Clemency.”

 

Clemency kisses Ryleigh’s forehead, “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

 

“I need you to take down your protective spell. It’s an unusually powerful one, did you cast it using raw magic?”

 

“No, I used my wand,” Ryleigh raises a curious eyebrow, “maybe I did it improperly because I’ve never used that spell before?” She waves her wand and mutters the counter charm.

 

“Stay here until I come back.” Cae conjures a patronus as she exits the apartment, and a few minutes later she returns with Avery following in her wake.

 

He runs into Clemency’s outstretched arms; they exchange a few kisses and whispered words. Then Avery pulls Ryleigh close too.

 

Cae gives them a moment before she starts speaking, “I’ll send a message requesting that wizards be stationed here to protect you two for the foreseeable future. But you both must remain vigilant. Ryleigh, you need to come with me.”

 

Ryleigh glances at Avery and Clemency, who look prepared to argue that she needs to go with Cae. “I’ll go pack,” she sighs, not wanting to have an argument after the days events.

 

\---

 

They apparate in front of the Moonstream’s castle; and even with the vacuum pressures of apparition still squeezing her lungs, Ryleigh feels like she can breathe again at the sight. Cae opens the castle doors and leads Ryleigh inside.

 

Ambrose is waiting for them. He places his hand on Ryleigh’s shoulder and says, “Badru will be excited you’re here - I didn’t tell him. Your room is already made up for you, do you remember where it is?” She nods and he smiles at her, “Dinner is in an hour.”

 

She ascends the stairs slowly, her thoughts hyper focused on the devourer. She knocks on Badru’s door and hears him call out, “Come in.”

 

Ryleigh opens the door, and seeing Badru’s eyes widen at her appearance, she questioningly says, “Surprise?”

 

Before anything more happens, Badru is pulling her into a tight hug. An overwhelming feeling of safety surges through her, catching her by surprise. She didn’t realize it, but she’s been expecting something dangerous or terrible to happen all summer, but she’s safe now, she’s safe _here_.  

 

“I just sent Vydea to you, how are you here?” Badru asks.

 

“My sister was attacked by a devourer,” Badru gives her a worried look so she quickly adds, “She’s okay. I managed to get her away from it - barely.”

 

Ryleigh recounts to Badru what happened, from the moment Vydea landed on her windowsill to arriving at Moonstream castle. Badru is catching Ryleigh up on everything that’s been happening when they hear the dinner bell.

 

That night Ryleigh dreams of the unnatural chill that accompanies the devourers. A dark hooded figure is gliding towards her, its oily, black hand reaching out to grasp her, its breath rattling as it draws closer… closer… closer. Ryleigh wakes with a start. She’s covered in a cold sweat and breathing like she just ran a marathon. Her first instinct is to go next door and crawl into Badru’s bed, but she doesn’t want to risk accidently falling asleep with him and getting into trouble again.

 

Instead, she climbs out of bed and walks to the castle’s library. Plucking a random book from its shelf, Ryleigh finds a spot to curl up on one of the big, squashy armchairs. She reads until the words start to blur and her eyelids feel heavy. Putting the book back, she walks back to her room, crawls into bed and sleeps for a few more hours until the sun starts to rise.

 

The dreams of devourers continue for the next week, and each time Ryleigh goes to the library to read. She’s getting less and less sleep each night. It’s around 3am and she’s curled up, trying desperately to keep her eyes open, when she hears the door to the library open.

 

Nyota walks in with a confused look until she spots the little blonde, half asleep with a book propped in her lap, “Ryleigh?”

 

Ryleigh closes the book with a snap and quickly stands, “I’m sorry... I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to bother anyone.”

 

“How long have you awake?”

 

“Only a couple of hours,” Ryleigh responds, but she glances away as she say it.

 

Nyota, like Badru, realizes there’s something she’s not saying. “And how often can’t you sleep?”

 

“I…” Ryleigh starts, but she sighs resignedly, because she’s trying to trust people, “I’ve been dreaming about the devourers every night since I got here, but I’m… I’ll be okay.”

 

Nyota opens her arms and Ryleigh hesitantly steps into the embrace. “Ryleigh, honey,” she whispers, “it’s alright to not be okay too.”

 

Ryleigh can’t explain why this hug feels different from every hug she’s received, but it sends a wave of emotion flowing through her. Nyota is holding her like she understands Ryleigh’s hurt and fear without Ryleigh needing to explain, maybe, this what a mother’s hug feels like. Once that first tear breaks free, the rest follow in an unbroken stream. Somehow they make it to the large couch in front of the fireplace and Ryleigh falls asleep with her head in Nyota’s lap and gentle fingers combing through her hair. Nyota’s humming a soothing song and it’s the most peaceful she’s slept in a long time.

 

\---

 

One hand is holding Badru’s and the other is tugging her trolley. He guides them through the press of the crowd at Platform 9 ¾ as it ebbs and flows like a river bursting its banks. Suddenly, a tiny, brown-haired girl bursts out of nowhere and runs headlong into Ryleigh. The impact knocks her back a step and she’s forced to let go of Badru’s hand.

 

Ryleigh guesses the girl must be a first year, judging by her size, and she momentarily thinks she couldn’t have been that small in her first year. There’s also a slight scowl and fierce look on the kid’s face, it throws her right back to her first time on train, three years ago. The memory of how lonely and unwelcome she felt in the wizarding world hits her harder than the girl did.

 

There are still moments when Ryleigh is sure she’s suffocating, when she’s reminded of the past, but they are much fewer and further apart these days. The girl scurries off the way she came, probably towards her parents, just as Badru takes Ryleigh’s hand and pulls along after making sure she’s okay. With his hand in hers, she suddenly realizes the reason for the changes, why it feels like she can breathe nowadays, and she holds a little tighter to Badru’s hand after that.

 

\---

 

Classes start and they’re harder than ever. Ryleigh doesn’t mind the new workload because it gives her less time to worry, with the stress of additional homework and quidditch practice. The first few weeks of class are uneventful, but one day after Defense Against the Dark Art, Professor Moonstream pulls Ryleigh aside.

 

“Ryleigh, I want you to take some extra lessons with me. While I think it’s unlike you’ll ever be attacked in Hogwarts, it’s best to be prepared,” Cae says.

 

“Prepared for what?” Ryleigh asks. She wants to know more about the Maker and the devourers.  

 

Cae gives her a measured look. She drops her voice, “You need to be prepared to face the devourers.”

 

She sees Badru in her next class - potions. She hurriedly tells him that Cae wants her to take extra Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons. He insists on coming along, claiming that he wants to have Ryleigh’s back. Seirixori, Ravaphine, and Nolanos who are all seated at their potions table overhear the conversation and invite themselves. Nolanos drags Beiro along, who asks his sister and Gunnloda to come. Malica obviously told Urrak because she shows up with Rinan in tow. Badru greets Rinan with a soft kiss and they beam at each other.

 

Ravaphine suggests they start an official club, which earns an eye roll from everyone including Professor Moonstream, who actually looks pleased so many students want to practice Defense Against the Dark Arts. But, because it’s Ravaphine and she’s so bubbly and insistent, a week later, they’re a club.

 

“What are we going to call ourselves?” Seirixori excitedly asks.

 

“The Defense Club?” Nolanos suggests.

 

Ryleigh shakes her head, “We should keep it in the running, but it feels to ordinary for our group.” A few of them laugh.

 

“How about the Moon Guard?” Seirixori says next.

 

“That might alienate anyone who doesn’t agree with the Moonstream’s reign,” Malica taps her chin in thought.

 

“Who cares what other people think…” Urrak grumbles “...this is fer us, to help ourselves when the time comes.”

 

“Guardians of the Dawn?” Ravaphine proposes.

 

“Guardians - like protectors,” Ryleigh hums in approval, “of the Dawn, which could mean a new day, or a better tomorrow, or it could mean light. It’s really fitting, considering the devourers look like darkness and feed off fear.”

 

“Dawnguard for short,” Badru smiles at the group.

 

The others all nod their heads in agreement.

 

\---

 

Slytherin’s second quidditch match of the season is against Gryffindor. They absolutely slaughtered Hufflepuff in their first match. Holden is practically walking on air these days, hoping to win the Quidditch cup before he graduates.

 

Ryleigh is hovering in front of the goal posts, focussed on the Gryffindor chasers - Rinan in particular, he’s one of their main scorers. She’s also amused by Nolanos’ voice echoing around the pitch.

 

“Urrak has her bat up and ready, and she slams that bludger… Oh, no, it’s headed for Seirixori - _why_ would you aim it for Seirixori, Urrak, she’s your _friend_ …” -but Seirixori’s just gone into a dive, she must have seen the snitch- “it looks like… maybe, yes! Seirixori has caught the snitch, the match ends with Slytherin at 190 points to Gyffindor’s 60. Great job Slytherin! Don’t give me that look, Urrak, Professor Moonstream says I have to be unbiased.”

 

She finds herself laughing because Urrak does have sour look on her face. How Nolanos can see it from the stands, given the space between them, she doesn’t know but maybe he doesn’t have to see her expression, he just knows her that well.

 

Despite the loss, Rinan and Urrak both congratulate Seirixori on a great catch. Rinan stops to tell Ryleigh she’s improved over last season, and how he had a hard time scoring four of Gryffindor’s six goals. She beams at him, and spots Badru walking towards them. She hurriedly whispers, “Don’t teach him all your fancy moves or I’ll lose my position next year.”

 

“I heard that,” Badru says and engulfs her in a congratulatory hug, “you did great, Ry.” He let’s go of Ryleigh and pulls Rinan down for a quick kiss,“Better luck next time, babe.”

 

\---

 

Ryleigh’s eating lunch in the Great Hall. Badru isn’t there, but Ryleigh doesn’t think twice about his absence because it wouldn’t be the first time he skipped lunch to go to the library or get an extra 30 minutes of study time. She eventually heads to the dungeons with Seirixori for potions. Ravaphine and Nolanos are already seated at their usual table, but Badru isn’t with them.

 

“Where’s Badru?” Ryleigh asks them.

 

Nolanos looks uncomfortable, “He and Rinan got into a fight after Transfiguration. He was in our dorm with the curtains closed around his four poster when I picked up my potions book.”

 

Without stopping to think, Ryleigh turns right around and walks towards the dungeon door.

 

“Ms. Alastair, where are you going?” The professor asks.

 

Ryleigh puts on her best pained face and answers, “I don’t feel good, Sir. I think I ate something funny at lunch.” She even wrenches and covers her mouth for added dramatics.

 

His face looks disgusted and he waves his hand for her to leave.

 

She runs to Ravenclaw tower, and after getting held up by two moving staircases and taking three secret passageways to avoid prefects and peeves, she finally arrives in front of a large wooden door with the bronze eagle knocker.

 

“Uh, excuse me. Can I go in?” Ryleigh tries.

 

The eagle opens its mouth, “Of course, but answer me this: What gets broken without being held?”

 

Ryleigh frowns, riddles aren’t her thing. “What gets broken without being held?” She repeats.

 

“Yes,” the knocker says.

 

“It’s probably not something physical because it can’t be held,” Ryleigh thinks aloud, she paces a bit before tapping her chin, “a heart can be broken, but I guess it would metaphorically be held.” Ryleigh leans against the wall, “It’s a good thing I’m not in Ravenclaw because I swear, I’d never get into my dorm.” She closes her eyes, “I swear…” something clicks into place.

 

“That’s it! something that gets broken without being held - it’s a promise!” Ryleigh excitedly answers the knocker.

 

“Correct.” The door to Ravenclaw tower swings open.

 

As Ryleigh crosses the Ravenclaw common room a few older Ravenclaws give her a _look_ , but she ignores them and heads directly to Badru’s dormitory. She reaches for the door knob, but hesitates because it _is_ the boys dormitory.

 

She knocks. “Badru?” Ryleigh calls out before pressing her ear to the door.

 

“Come in, Ry.” His voice sounds raspy.

 

Ryleigh opens the dormitory door before shutting it behind her and walking to Badru’s four poster. She slowly pulls the curtain back, Badru’s eyes are red from crying and he’s sniffling. Ryleigh sits on the edge of his bed, cautiously reaching out to tangle their fingers together.

 

“I was worried when you didn’t show up for potions…” Ryleigh says softly. “Nolanos said you and Rinan got into a fight. Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Badru’s eyes fill with tears again, so Ryleigh mirrors his position on the bed, facing him, their fingers still linked. They stay like that until Badru finally says, “He wants to be auror.”

 

Ryleigh’s momentarily confused, because to her, it makes perfect sense for Rinan to be an auror. He’s one of the most naturally talented wizards in Dawnguard. She rubs her thumb gently over the back of Badru’s hand, waiting patiently for him to continue.

 

“He wants to volunteer to defend the border of Vyon,” Badru’s voice seems to catch in his throat as he struggles to form the words, “I know it’s noble and that I should be proud of him, but it’s dangerous and… what if…”

 

Ryleigh reaches out to tenderly wipe the tears escaping from Badru’s eyes, before entwining their fingers again. “You’re scared he’ll die.”

 

“He’s so self-sacrificing. If it meant saving others, he wouldn’t think twice about his own life,” Badru whispers.

 

“That’s not a bad thing - dying to protect others.”

 

“Yes it is because I love him,” he responds so fiercely that it catches them both by surprise. Ryleigh’s face breaks into a huge grin, and Badru’s slowly starts to mirror hers as he realizes what he said, “Gods, Ry. I-I love him.”

 

“Why are you telling me? You should be telling Rinan,” she teases him lightly before squeezing his hand reassuringly.

 

Badru scrambles out of his bed and heads to the door. Just as he reaches for the handle, he stops and walks back to Ryleigh, pulling her into a hug. “Thanks, Ry.”

 

When she lets him go, Ryleigh smiles and says, “Go on, I’ll see you later at dinner.”

 

Badru hurriedly leaves after their embrace and Ryleigh lets herself out of Ravenclaw tower.

 

\---

 

The Dawnguard are practicing Patronuses before Christmas break. Of all the students, Ryleigh is having the most difficulty producing one, although Malica is having some issues too.

 

Seirixori’s bright metallic dolphin is currently jumping through non existent hoops while whistling at Gunnloda’s honey badger. Nolanos’ silvery raccoon is pawing at Ravaphine’s parrot and Rinan’s large tiger is lounging near Beiro’s metallic Koala.

 

While it took Urrak several tries, eventually a huge grizzly bear explodes from the end of her wand. In her excitement, Urrak lifts Malica in a twirl before kissing her passionately - the kiss stops when Cae clears her throat. Shortly after that, Malica says the incantation and a silvery fox joins Urrak’s bear.

 

Badru has been able to produce a patronus since he was 11, so he’s been helping everyone with the wand movement and pronunciation. His silvery swarm of butterflies poke playfully at Urrak’s massive bear, which is swiping at them in irritation. Every time Ryleigh tries to find a happy memory to focus on, dark things creep into her mind - Kizer bleeding out, the devourer advancing on Clemency - and all she can manage to conjure is metallic smoke.

 

Badru comes up beside her and throws an arm around Ryleigh’s waist. “Still having trouble, huh?” He asks, sympathetically.

 

Ryleigh nods and lowers her wand, “I just can’t get this.”

 

Badru places his hand on top of Ryleigh’s wand hand and whispers in her ear, “Close your eyes and focus on my voice.” She does and takes a deep breath, trying to clear her mind. “You’ve been through a lot of bad, but you’re strong and you _will_ get this. Think of a moment when you felt loved - when you felt safe. Focus on that feeling, now do it.”

 

With Badru’s hand on hers, his chin resting on her shoulder, and thinking of all the times he’s made her feel loved, that he _is_ her safe place, the magic doesn’t seem quite so out of reach.

 

“Expecto Patronum!” She shouts and from the end of her wand bursts a silvery Pit Bull. It bounds around the classroom once before sitting in front of Ryleigh and barking happily. One of Badru’s butterflies lands on the end of Ryleigh’s Pit Bull’s nose, the dog wags its tail before joyfully chasing the cluster of butterflies.

 

Ryleigh turns her head and presses a quick kiss to Badru’s cheek, “Thank you.” He smiles at her and steps away just as Urrak pulls Ryleigh into a bone crushing hug.

 

“I knew you had it in you.” Cae tells her. The other members of the Dawnguard soon follow up with their own congratulatory pats, hugs, and comments. Cae wraps up the meeting after that, sending them all back to their common rooms before it gets too late.

 

Seirixori and Ryleigh are walking to the Slytherin common room when Seirixori asks what memory Ryleigh used to produce her patronus. It’s then that she realizes it wasn’t a memory at all, but a feeling. The feeling she gets whenever Badru is near her. Ryleigh shrugs and Seirixori points out the light blush tinting Ryleigh’s cheeks before dropping the conversation.

 

That night Ryleigh jolts awake and falls a few inches onto her mattress. She realizes that she’d been hovering while asleep, and it had been ages since that’d happened. Not since second year when Badru was comforting her during finals. She slowly drifts back to sleep trying not to give it much thought.

 

\---

 

Avery and Clemency pick her up at Platform 9 ¾, before they make the long drive home. When they get to the small apartment, Ryleigh quickly falls back into her home routine. She’s doing much better than last year, and there’s still an emptiness in her chest but at least it doesn’t feel all consuming anymore.

 

They exchange gifts, eat Christmas dinner, and discuss what’s been going on since Ryleigh left. She sends Vydea with letters home often, but they’re brief and lack detail in case they’re intercepted. Unfortunately, Avery and Clemency’s responses are much of the same. Ryleigh hates the brevity of their communication because it makes her feel distanced from them, and that’s the last thing she wants.

 

One evening, after dinner, she hears laughter coming from the kitchen. She quietly peaks inside and the sight warms her heart. Avery has Clemency in his arms, the dishes completely forgotten. They’re both so graceful, and dance like they were made for each other. Avery dips Clemency dramatically and she laughs again just as Ryleigh slowly closes the door and goes back to her bedroom. Even with Kizer gone, they still have each other and that’s something special.

 

\---

 

Seirixori wakes Ryleigh with a gentle shake about ten minutes before her fifteenth birthday. Ryleigh’s eyes flicker open, and she can make out the shadow of Seirixori in the darkness.

 

“Ryleigh, wake up and get dressed,” Seirixori whispers, trying not to wake the other girls in their dorm.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ryleigh immediately hops out of bed, her wand out and looking alert.

 

Seirixori rolls her eyes and says, “Nothing’s wrong, now hurry up or we’ll be late.”

 

Ryleigh is pulling on her pants when Seirixori says they’ll be late. “Late for what?”

 

“SHUSH, you’re going to wake everyone up.” Ryleigh groans at Seirixori’s response.

 

Within a minute, they’re walking through the Slytherin common room and out of the dungeons. Seirixori leads them to the third floor and taps her wand against the One Eyed Witch and whispers, “Dissendium.”

 

“Hogsmeade?” Ryleigh hurriedly says.

 

Seirixori nods as she climbs up and into the secret passage. Ryleigh follows without any more questions.

 

“Hurry up. We’re supposed to be there in three minutes.”

 

“Race you to the end?” Ryleigh challenges.

 

Seirixori grins and pushes Ryleigh into the wall. “You’re on!” She yells running up the tunnel.

 

“Cheater!” Ryleigh laughs out and runs after Seirixori.

 

Both reach the end of the tunnel out of breath and smiling.

 

“Seriously, what are we doing here Seirixori?”

 

“You’ll see,” Seirixori answers, climbing up the ladder. Ryleigh follows and when she reaches the top there’s a yell of “Surprise!”

 

All of her friends are standing together in the basement of Honeydukes wearing party hats and beaming at her. Ryleigh doesn’t really know what to say, so she opens and closes her mouth a few times.

 

Badru walks forward, hugging her and whispering, “Happy Birthday, Ry.”

 

“Thank you,” Ryleigh mumbles.

 

With the owners of Honeydukes gone they can be rowdy. They take turns opening wizard crackers left over from the holidays, eating too much chocolate, and drinking lots of butterbeer. Each of her friends gives her a card or a gift. Ryleigh’s acquired a new pair of Keeper gloves from Urrak, a great book on defensive spells from Seirixori with animated pictures of wand movements, and an assortment of sweets from the others.

 

Ravaphine’s eyebrows catch fire as her and Nolanos light some Whiz-Bangs Fireworks in the small basement. Shortly afterward the party comes to its end, because they’re all worried someone from the town might come investigate the source of the noise. Everyone leaves some coin for the chocolate they took and starts walking back to the castle.

 

Badru waves Rinan ahead while he and Ryleigh make sure that they didn’t leave a mess for the owners to pick up before heading back to the castle. They can hear their friends further ahead in the tunnel, still on their sugar high. Badru pulls Ryleigh to stop and hands her a creatively wrapped package.

 

“I didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone else.”

 

“You have to stop getting me something for Christmas and my birthday. They’re so close together and you always spend too-” Ryleigh starts stammering.

 

“Ryleigh, we’ve been over this. You _don’t_ owe me anything for getting you a gift. We’re not keeping score, so please, just open it.” Badru says firmly.

 

She takes the gift and unwraps it slowly. Inside is a leather bound photo album, barely larger than a small book. Ryleigh opens the album and the first page is of them from first year on the train ride home. Her head is resting on Badru’s shoulder, his head atop hers. The next photo is from last year, the Quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor, right after Seirixori caught her first snitch. Rinan and Urrak in their crimson, mud splattered robes congratulating Ryleigh and Seirixori on their victory. Then there’s a photo of Seirixori and Ryleigh on the ground at Platform 9 ¾ - Seirixori is sprawled out on top of Ryleigh - Kizer, Avery, and Clemency are all grinning in the background. Most of the pages are filled with photos of them and their friends, but there are pages towards the back waiting to filled with more memories.

 

Ryleigh is drawn out of her thoughts when she feels fingertips brushing against her cheek, wiping away tears she didn’t know were there. Badru’s eyes are filled with concern, “Are you okay?”

 

She shakes her head, “This… it’s, it’s perfect.”

 

\---

 

Ryleigh’s studying her Herbology textbook during her break before Care of Magical Creatures, when she comes across a plant called the Savior Vine. The passage reads:

 

_The Savior Vine is also known as Nature’s Healer, this climber [fig. 3.11] has an incredible strength (of magical origin) that makes it a sought-after material in agriculture and alchemy. In the wild, it wraps around trees and shrubs with rotting roots tightly enough to prevent them from falling, and its support gives these plants a chance to grow again. It must be noted, however, that even with the assistance of the Saviour Vine, if the tree does not put down new roots of its own among the decaying ones, it will die anyway. The species is credited with saving much of the habitat of the Bowtruckle._

 

There’s a picture of a small, blackened sapling, its trunk neatly wound with a thin, green vine covered in delicate multi-colored flowers.

 

Ryleigh stares at the page and the picture for a long, long time. This information seems important to her, but she’s not sure why. Seirixori comes bounding down the stairs from the dormitory.

 

“We better get going, don’t want to be late,” Seirixori says happily.

 

“ _You_ don’t want to be late only because it’s your favorite class,” Ryleigh comments, while packing up her Herbology textbook.

 

“We’re doing unicorns today, Ry. Unicorns!” She squeals.

 

Ryleigh chuckles as the leave the dungeons, heading towards the edge of the forest. “You play with the unicorn every year, Seirixori.”

 

“But this year I don’t have to hide while doing it.”

 

They reach the forest, where many of their classmates are already congregated. Ryleigh nudges Badru with her shoulder as Professor Moki leads them into the forest.

 

“Unicorn foals are born pure gold in color and remain so until they are about two years old, at which time they turn silver in color,” Professor Moki explains, “At around four years old their horn grows in and they are fully grown at about seven years old, turning a shade of pure white.”

 

The class comes to a clearing, in the center is a brilliantly white unicorn with golden hooves. Most of them let out small noises of excitement, while Ryleigh, Badru, and Seirixori all try to look like this _is totally_ their first time seeing a fully grown unicorn.

 

Professor Moki continues with his lecture, “No one really knows how long a unicorn can live, but we do know that their blood is silver-blue and shines under moonlight. Unicorn hair is generally used for core in wands, the tail hair and horns are used in potions. The tail hair can also be used as a binding in bandages due to its incredible strength.”

 

“Alright, girls you can come forward, full grown unicorns prefer a woman’s touch.” He announces the large group of students. “I’m sorry boys, I couldn’t find a younger one, they’re often more trusting and don’t mind men as much.”

 

Seirixori and Ryleigh move forward with the rest of the girls in class, each of them taking a turn petting the unicorn. Once class is over they all walk back to the castle for dinner.

 

“It’s dumb that you couldn’t pet the unicorn,” Ryleigh says to Badru, “that one in second year loved you.” She’s too busy digging in her bag for something that she doesn’t catch the contemplative look on Badru’s face.

 

\---

 

An owl lands in front of Ryleigh while she’s eating breakfast in the Great Hall. She blinks and says, “Who are you looking for? Can’t be me.”

 

The owl hoots and continues to hold out it’s leg. Ryleigh unties the letter and the owl immediately takes flight. Her name is on the envelope, she pulls out the letter and starts to read. A few lines in she realizes that it’s a death threat. It’s  filled with comments of her impurity of blood and a detailed retelling of Clemency’s and Avery’s daily life. The last few lines in the letter are: _Tell anyone and I’ll kill them. We’ll meet soon. You’re not safe at Hogwarts. The Maker_

 

Something silver inside the envelope catches her eye and she turns it over. A small silver bracelet slides into her hand; the bracelet Avery gave Clemency for Christmas a few years ago. Ryleigh swallows hard, tears threatening her eyes.

 

Her brain is working furiously and trying to figure out what to do, when Badru plops down next to her, stealing a piece of bacon off her plate. Ryleigh nearly jumps two feet in the air, spilling pumpkin juice everywhere and knocking over her oatmeal bowl. Several Slytherins shoot her dirty looks as their books and belongings get splattered with orange liquid.

 

“Ry, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” She quickly replies, “I’ve… I-I have to go.” Ryleigh picks up her bag and rushes out of the Great Hall.

 

She should have known Badru wouldn’t give up that easily. She feels a hand on her elbow, trying to pull her to a stop as gently as possible. “Stop, and tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“I can’t,” she whispers, trying to keep the fear out of her voice, but she can feel the air around them start to change.

 

He looks around, then takes her hand and drags her into a nearby closet. Badru points his wand at the door, “Muffliato.” He steps into her space, and she tries to step back but her back hits the wall - she has nowhere to run. “Ryleigh, you’re safe.” Badru’s eyes are trained on hers with such intensity, it makes her breath catch. The air gradually returns to normal.

 

She slowly pulls the letter out of her robe pocket, handing it to Badru. He starts reading, his eyes growing wide.

 

“Ryleigh,” Badru breathes, “We have to go to Eloise.”

 

“No,” Ryleigh says, the panic rising in her voice. “The letter says I’m not safe at Hogwarts, that means someone here is working for the Maker. We can’t trust anyone, or he’ll kill them.”

 

Badru takes Ryleigh’s face in his hands. “Look at me, Ry.” He waits for Ryleigh’s eyes to meet his, “We can’t be silent about this.” Ryleigh starts to shake her head, but Badru presses his forehead to hers, “Trust me.”

 

A sob escapes Ryleigh as she nods, “O-okay. I-I trust you.”

 

\---

 

Eloise read the letter and took immediate action. Avery has put under protection, but Clemency is missing. The staff of Hogwarts was interviewed, but the interrogations were a dead end. Cae pulls Ryleigh aside after Defense Against the Dark Arts to remind her to stay vigilante.

 

The one thing she didn’t share with Badru or the Headmistress was Clemency’s bracelet. It felt too personal to give up, especially now that her sister is missing. The chilled metal of the bracelet reminds her to keep hope that Clemency is alive, and that the aurors will find her.

 

The first time she sleepwalks, she doesn’t get very far. She wakes just as her hand rests on the doorknob of her dorm. It’s disorienting because she’s never slept walked before. The second time, she awakes in the common room. The third, she makes it out of the Slytherin dungeons and realises, with some confusion, that she’s halfway to the astronomy tower.

 

Ryleigh blames the sleepwalking as some kind of manifestation of stress, regardless it still scares her. She starts avoiding sleep. Some nights, she sneaks around the castle, finding secret passageways. On nights she can’t avoid sleeping, she asks Seirixori to cast a binding curse on her, so she doesn’t sleep walk. Other nights, she confides in Badru that she can’t sleep and they sneak down to the quidditch pitch to practice flying.

 

“Ry, try to fly without your broom,” Badru says from a few feet in the air.

 

She smiles at him and dismounts her broom, “You know I can’t hover for longer than a few seconds.”

 

“But you haven’t really tried, you usually do it by accident - right?”

 

“Yeah, but… I don’t know if I should use my raw magic. Isn’t the point of extra lessons and the Dawnguard to teach me control so I’m...normal?” Ryleigh sets her broom down and shuffles her feet.

 

“Being normal is overrated, you have a gift, why not learn to use it? If you believe in yourself, you can do it. It’s just like your patronus, Ry.” He sees her hesitation, “Tell me what triggers your raw magic.”  

 

Ryleigh thinks back, “Angry. Fear. Happiness.”

 

“So find the focus between all of those feelings and try to fly to me,” Badru grins at her, “I’ll catch you if you fall, promise.”

 

She closes her eyes, trying to focus on the energy she felt each time she used raw magic. A wave of anger crashes into her as the image of Badru being tortured flashes in her mind. It’s followed by the suffocating fear she felt when Kizer was dying. The anger and fear are slowly replaced with happiness when she thinks about Badru’s voice in her ear, his hand on hers, the warmth in his eyes.

 

“Open your eyes,” Badru says softly.

 

She’s eight feet in the air and when she looks down she drops a foot, but quickly stabilizes. Badru is at her side in an instant, just as promised. Ryleigh gives him a toothy grin.

 

“I knew you could do it,” he smirks, “now you need to practice flying around instead of just hovering.”

 

Ryleigh laughs and it carries her a few feet higher.

 

\---

 

Two weeks after the death threat, the Dawnguard have a meeting where Professor Moonstream takes them each separately into a broom cupboard to face a boggart. Most of the students return pale and shaky, and leave right after.

 

Seirixori returns a crying, babbling mess and Gunnloda leads her out of the classroom, choosing not to take a turn. Ravaphine faced the boggart then silently waited for Nolanos to finish before they left quietly, arms around each other.

 

When Malica comes back from her encounter with the boggart, she stalks right up to Urrak, grabs her by the wrist, and drags her out of the classroom. Badru and Ryleigh hear Malica tell Urrak, “I love you” as the classroom door shuts.

 

“Badru, come on,” Cae motions for him to follow her.

 

“Good luck,” Ryleigh calls after him.

 

Badru comes back after ten minutes looking like he’s been hollowed out, and walks straight into Ryleigh’s arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She can hear him mumbling incoherently.

 

“Ryleigh,” Cae calls, motioning for her to take her turn. She leaves a still-crying Badru leaning against the desk for a moment, before pacing over to Cae.

 

“I’m skipping. I’m going to take him back to his dorm,” Ryleigh tells her.

 

Professor Moonstream stares her down. “It’ll only take a few minutes, Ryleigh. This club started because of you, remember? This is important.” At the thought of the devourers and her family’s legacy, Ryleigh’s chest seems to grow heavy but she shrugs.

 

“Not as important as he is. I’ll practice another time.”

 

Cae gazes at her for a long moment, before nodding slowly. “I understand,” she says, in a tone that makes Ryleigh think she really does, perhaps even more than she meant for Cae to.

 

Ryleigh takes Badru’s hand and leads them to the astronomy tower. They huddle together and Ryleigh spends the next few hours pointing out the stars and telling the muggle stories tried to each constellation. Eventually, Badru starts to calm down.

 

“We can talk about the boggart whenever you’re ready. It doesn’t have to be tonight, or soon, but I’m here whenever you need me.” Ryleigh says after a while. Badru’s head is on her shoulder and their fingers are entwined.

 

“W-would you stay with me tonight?” Badru asks so quietly, Ryleigh almost misses it.

 

Nyota’s reprimanding from last year echoes in her head, but then Badru looks at her with sad, brown eyes and she already knows she can’t say no, that she doesn’t want to say no.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to find Rinan?”

 

Badru’s shakes his head, “He has prefect duty tonight, that’s why he wasn’t at the meeting.” He hesitates, biting his lip before saying, “Nevermind, it’s a stupid idea.”

 

Ryleigh takes his hand, “It’s not stupid. Of course I’ll stay with you tonight.”

 

They leave the astronomy tower shortly after that and head to Badru’s dorm in Ravenclaw tower. No one stops them as the pass through the common room, no comments are thrown their way and Ryleigh gets the impression everyone can see he’s having a bad night. They lay down in Badru’s four poster bed and Ryleigh pulls him close, running a soothing hand up and down his spine until they both drift off to sleep.

 

_Next step. Next step. Next step._

 

Ryleigh fights for consciousness. She’s almost sure she can hear someone calling her name, but the words are muffled by the layers of sleep that are wrapped around her mind. She feels like she’s moving upwards, quickly, but the soft, tired voice of reason argues that it’s all part of her dream. She feels even more exhausted than she was when she curled up next to Badru, and her body begs for stillness, yet the dream keeps repeating, _next step, next step, next step_.

 

“RYLEIGH! Ry, stop!”

 

That’s Badru’s voice. Her best friend, who might be having a terrible nightmare about what he saw with the boggart, and he needs Ryleigh to wake up. She’s eased into awareness by the cold air blowing through her hair, dancing across her face. Her eyes flicker open.

 

The first thing she sees is Badru. Badru, expression full of shock and fear. Badru, reaching out for her. Badru, brown eyes trained on her as he screams her name. The second thing she notices is that they’re in the astronomy tower, right at the very top. Badru is still at the top of the staircase, but he’s moving forward quickly, towards Ryleigh, and that’s when she realizes that she’s standing right at the very edge of the tower.

 

“Ryleigh, you’ve got to step forward, or you’re going to fall over the edge,” Badru begs.

 

“Badru-” Ryleigh starts, but that’s when the bracelet around her ankle jerks backward violently, as if being drawn to some invisible magnet. It’s enough to unbalance Ryleigh entirely, she tilts dangerously for a second before gravity pulls her back.

 

She fumbles for a moment, arms flailing before her chin slams into the stone ledge and everything goes a little fuzzy as the taste of copper bursts into her mouth. She knows she falling. It seems to happen both gradually and impossibly fast. Her hair whips around her face, and she’s tumbling down.

 

Suddenly, arms wrap tightly around her and she hears a voice, but its distant. Through the wind and the tears that blur her gaze, she can just make out Badru’s features and the look of determination on his face - his mouth is moving and she’s trying to focus on his words.

 

“You have to stop us, Ry. I know you can do it. I trust you and you won’t let anything happen to me.” Badru is yelling over the wind.

 

Ryleigh grabs onto him and remembers all the late night flying they do at the quidditch pitch. She’s angry because someone just tried to kill her, and worse they almost made Badru watch. They begin to slow down. She’s scared because Badru just jumped off the edge after her and if she fails, they’ll both die and she can’t let that happen. The wind isn’t hitting her face as hard and she’s managed to change their trajectory.  

 

At their speed they won’t die from the fall but the impact is going to be rough. Ryleigh turns in a way that she’ll land on the ground first, trying to cushion Badru’s fall. They slam into the firm dirt, hard enough that Ryleigh hears her leg break, and her wrist too. The force of it separates the two of them.

 

She grits her teeth against the pain. “Badru? Badru, are you okay?”

 

“I’m okay, I think,” his muffled reply comes as he manages to push himself up into a sitting position on the grass.

 

Ryleigh stares at him carefully, making absolutely sure that what he’s saying is true. She can see the white of her shin bone in her peripheral vision, but she doesn’t look, it’ll make the pain worse if she does. “Badru, you’re an idiot! What were you thinking?! I can’t believe you jumped off the tower, you know I can’t fly with two people yet. Y-you could have died!”

 

“You _would have_ died if I hadn’t!” Badru yells back, just as fiercely.

 

Ryleigh draws a deep breath to shout something back - she wants to say that the world needs him, but it doesn’t need her. That’s she’s expendable and furious that he put himself in danger, just for her. But they’re interrupted by the sharp voice of Professor Moonstream.

 

“Exactly what is going on here?” She demands as she jogs across the grounds towards them. “I had a Gryffindor prefect on patrol come tell me that he was positive he saw figures fall off the astronomy tower.”

 

That’s when Ryleigh notices Rinan running after Professor Moonstream, except unlike Cae he doesn’t halt in front of them. Instead he sprints right to Badru, gathering the younger boy in his arms and checking him over for injury.

 

“What happened?” Cae says more pointedly.

 

The shock is starting to wear off, and the pain from Ryleigh’s leg is so dizzying. “I-I don’t know,” she manages to say just before the black at the edges of her vision swallow her.

 

\---

 

Ryleigh can’t seem to make her eyes work, but her ears have started to function again. She feels like she’s being assaulted by a whirlwind of noise. After a minute of trying to coax her brain into functioning, she eventually realizes the noise is people talking.

 

“...and she was gone, so I went to look for her. Ry wouldn’t leave after she promised to stay with me.”

 

“Why exactly was Miss Alastair in the boys Ravenclaw dormitories?”

 

“Ah…”

 

“He had a particularly rough time with the boggart in our Dawnguard meeting,” adds a new voice, “Ryleigh said she was taking him back to his dorm, I didn’t realize that meant she was staying.”

 

“I asked her to. It wasn’t her idea…” Badru’s voices answers. “I woke up because I heard the dormitory door close, and Ryleigh wasn’t there, so I got up and followed. I saw her walk out of the common room and she was walking really weirdly, so I figured she might be under a spell or sleepwalking. I’ve read not to wake sleepwalking people, so I just followed her.”

 

“To the astronomy tower?” Eloise asks.

 

“Yes. She was going really fast up the stairs, almost like she was being pulled, and it took me a while to catch up. By the time I got to the top, she was standing right at the edge of the tower, and that’s when I yelled at her to step back, and that’s when she woke up.” This is all said very carefully, like someone trying to keep the emotion out of their voice. “I saw her eyes open and she looked at me. But then she was yanked backwards, like an invisible rope was tied around her ankle pulling her off the tower.”

 

Ryleigh’s starting to recognize the voices speaking around her. She feels someone move her pant leg up and remove Clemency’s bracelet magically. Ryleigh’s eyes slowly open and she manages to blink at the faces surrounding her.

 

Cae has the bracelet dangling in the air in front of her, “How did you come by this?”

 

“I-It was my sister’s,” Ryleigh croaks out, “It came in the envelope with the death threat.” She looks away from all of them, realizing now how stupid it was to keep it a secret.

 

“Ryleigh, during my long career as an auror, I came across many tokens that bore terrible enchantments. Usually, they were given to muggles by wizards who are still prejudice about blood purity. Baby blankets that were hexed to smother. Water bottles that were jinxed to drown the drinker.” Cae says to her in an exasperated tone.

 

Ryleigh presses her palms to her eyes, “Gods, I’m so stupid. The Maker knew I wouldn’t give it up because it means so much to me, especially with her gone.”

 

Badru pulls one of her hands away from her face and holds it in his. He gently starts to rub circles on the back of her hand and she realizes exactly _why_ she didn’t think anything was wrong with the bracelet.

 

“I felt safe here. I didn’t think he could touch me at Hogwarts,” she mumbles.

 

“And he didn’t,” Eloise murmurs, “Why kill you if he could get you to kill yourself.”

 

Ryleigh hears Badru crying beside her as quietly as he can, she knows he’s trying not to interrupt, but Ryleigh’s so attuned to him that she couldn’t miss it. The sound tugs at her heartstrings.

 

“Miss Alastair, I am going to take this bracelet to my office. I also need to report this to the auror division. I will try and hold off their questions for you for as long as I can, to give you some time to sleep, but as you no doubt know, when the Maker is involved, there is little rest to be had, even for the not-so-wicked.” Eloise gives her one last look, the cursed bracelet suspended limply in the air in front of her, before turning and leaving the hospital wing.

 

Cae gazes at her appraisingly for a long moment, “I’m glad that you’re okay, Ryleigh. I’m glad you both are.” She then adds with a half smile, “It’s impressive you managed to fly two people to relative safety. You must be practicing.” With that, Professor Moonstream follows her wife out of the hospital wing.

 

Ryleigh finally manages to look at Badru, who looks wrecked, shivering and crying silently, their fingers still linked. “Why did you jump after me? You’re so important, people need you,” Ryleigh says in a small voice.

 

“I didn’t see the bracelet. For a second, it looked like you stepped off the tower.” He shakes his head, like he’s trying to forget. “Ry, you’re important to me and I need _you_ …”

 

When his eyes meet hers, Ryleigh knows that Badru is seeing that quiet eleven-year-old warning him not to be her friend in the empty compartment on the train. He’s seeing the quidditch player who refused to talk to anyone after she found out she nearly killed the boy who hurt him. He’s seeing the girl who walked the castle instead of facing her nightmares and the teenager who said she didn’t want to burden anyone.

 

“It was all the bracelet, Badru,” Ryleigh promises. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

 

Badru crawls up next to her on the tiny hospital bed and wraps his arms around her, just like when they were falling. And she doesn’t let him go for a very long time.

 

\---

 

An auror named Kansif comes to talk to her about the bracelet. She confirms what Professor Moonstream said about it being cursed.

 

“We rescued yer sister, she’s… physically okay as far as we can tell. However we’ve moved her to St. Mungos Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries fer further testin’. Your brother is also there.” Kansif informs her. “But we’re workin’ on a more permanent protection plan fer them in th’ future.”

 

Ryleigh’s been thinking about Clemency and Avery’s safety a lot since the death threat came a month ago. She talked to Badru about her idea to keep them safe, which he was adamantly against, but she doesn’t see another way to protect them.

 

“What if…” Ryleigh hesitates, the words catching in her throat. She suddenly remembers what the sorting hat told her 4 years ago. _You’re brave, too. If it comes to it, you will sacrifice all things to be who you have to be._ She takes a deep breath, because she knows this is the only way to ensure their safety. “What if we wipe all of their memories of me, give them new identities, and relocate them?”

 

Kansif gives her a disbelieving look, “That’s drastic. There’s no guarantee that we could reverse a memory modification that extensive. They may never remember who ye are.”

 

“I know the odds and I understand the consequences,” Ryleigh jaw is rigid with the effort not to waver on her request.

 

“I’m not sure ye do, yer a child-”

 

“I am _not_ a child,” Ryleigh says forcefully, her eyes boring into Kansif’s, “I watched my dad die when I was 13. I faced a devourer when I was 14. And I was nearly murdered by the Maker four days ago.”

 

Kansif gives her a measure look, so Ryleigh continues, “They’re the only family I have and they’re being targeted because of me. _This_ is the only way to protect them. So please, don’t insult my intelligence by telling me I don’t understand the magnitude of my request simply because I’m 15.”

 

“I’ll talk to my superiors. It isn’t a bad idea. I just don’t want you to wake up and regret it,” Kansif sighs.

 

“As long as they’re safe, and have each other, I won’t,” Ryleigh says with finality.

 

“We’re movin’ ye t’  a safe location and we’ll continue t’ move ye throughout the summer. Yer gonna miss the quidditch finals, and ye’ll have to miss final exams. Arrangements will be made given your academic record. This isn’t permanent, Miss Alastair, but a precaution in case the Maker makes an attempt to finish what his bracelet couldn’t.”

 

“I understand,” Ryleigh answers. She knows that Badru and her friends will be safer without her at Hogwarts anyway. What if the Maker had controlled her to hurt them instead of making her hurt herself. A shiver runs through Ryleigh at the thought.

 

“We leave in the morning,” Kansif says before she leaves Ryleigh to pack.

 

Ryleigh is coming down the stairs from her dormitory when Badru walks into the Slytherin common room. They haven’t spend much time apart lately, and Ryleigh feels both closer to and further from him than ever. She thinks it might be because she loves Badru just as much, if not more, but the innocence between them was shattered the night they fell off the tower - they’re no longer the same little kids who met of the Hogwarts Express.

 

“What’s happening? Why are you packing?” Badru frowns.

 

She ditches her trunk at the foot of the stairs and goes to sit on the couch, “I’m going with the aurors. Somewhere safe.”

 

Badru sits beside her, and he slides his hand into hers. “Why can’t you stay with us again? Our castle is protected by all those shield charms and we have the Royal Guard there. Not to mention my parents are extraordinary wizards, we’d never let anything happen to you.”

 

“I know,” Ryleigh says, her voice catching in her throat, “That’s why I have to go.”

 

In all honesty, Ryleigh almost asked for that, to go to Moonstream castle. But then she thought about the Savior Vine in her herbology textbook, about the dying tree needing to lay new roots or it’d die even with the pretty flowers of the Savior Vine wrapped around it. She thought about how Badru has been one of the best things in her life. How he pulled her out of the dark and has never given up on her. But if Ryleigh ever really wants to grow into something, she has to put down her own roots - she can’t keep letting him save her, she needs to learn to save herself.

 

She doesn’t really know how to explain that to Badru, though, so instead she rests her head on his shoulder, lulled into peace by the steady rhythm of his breathing. She’s not sure when they fell asleep, but someone is gently shaking her awake. Ryleigh’s eyes slowly open and she realizes that Badru is curled into her. They’re still on the couch in the Slytherin common room.

 

“It’s time to go, I’ll be waitin’ right outside,” Kansif whispers to her, levitating Ryleigh’s trunk and Dawnbringer’s cage behind her as she exits the common room.

 

Ryleigh smiles at Badru’s sleeping form. She gently runs her hand down his neck, her fingertips scratch the base of his head, and he starts to move.

 

“Just five more minutes,” he mumbles, his nose pressing further into the crook of her neck.

 

“I don’t have five more minutes, or I’d let you sleep,” Ryleigh softly says.

 

Badru hugs her closer and it feels different from the other hugs they’ve had. It’s softer, but also tighter somehow. It has more weight. “I’ll miss you,” he whispers against Ryleigh’s skin.

 

“I’ll miss you too,” Ryleigh says in an equally hushed tone, and she means to say something else, but then Badru shifts and their faces are just a few inches apart. Ryleigh’s eyes flick down, just slightly, as if Badru’s lips have some sort of gravity. She realizes then, in a wave of lung-crushing panic, that she wants to kiss Badru. Like she really, _really_ wants to. So she jumps up, immediately putting distance between them, the kind of distance that will save Ryleigh from ruining everything, because _what the hell_.

 

“I-I’ll see you at the end of summer,” Ryleigh mumbles, her words rushing out. He looks at her with concerned eyes, but she doesn’t give him the chance to say anything more, as she backs up quickly, turning and hurrying out the door. It feels a bit like running away.

  



	5. The Top of the Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Ryleigh's fall off the Astronomy Tower, but from Badru's POV.

 

The boggart unsettles Badru, dragging every ghost from the back of his mind into the forefront of his thoughts. He half expected his Head of House to come out of the cabinet and tell him he’d failed everything, and what kind of king would he be with only four years of magical education. What he wasn’t prepared for was to see himself as king, sending people to their deaths.

 

He walks right into Ryleigh’s arms when he’s finally defeated the boggart. He loves how warm she always is; it’s comforting. Badru hears her talk with Cae but can’t make out the words because his head is swimming with terrible images. She takes him the astronomy tower - it’s their place - and she starts telling him about the ridiculous stories muggles tell each other about the stars. It makes him laugh and he begins to feel better.

 

“We can talk about the boggart whenever you’re ready. It doesn’t have to be tonight, or soon, but I’m here whenever you need me,” Ryleigh says after a while. Badru’s head is on her shoulder and their fingers are entwined.

 

“W-would you stay with me tonight?” Badru asks quietly, and he immediately thinks he shouldn’t have. They got in trouble last year for sleeping together. He understands why now after his dad’s talk, but Ryleigh’s never shown that kind of interest in him.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to find Rinan?” she says softly.

 

Badru loves that she’s so supportive, but he shakes his head. Ryleigh is the only person he can be sad around and not have to talk about it, she just _knows_ what he needs and he doesn’t feel like explaining tonight. “He has prefect duty tonight; that’s why he wasn’t at the meeting.” He hesitates, biting his lip before saying, “Nevermind, it’s a stupid idea.”

 

Ryleigh takes his hand, “It’s not stupid. Of course I’ll stay with you tonight.”

 

\---

 

He can’t pinpoint exactly why he wakes, but he does. Maybe it was the cold, the lack of a now-familiar hold. Whatever it is, it takes him a second to realize that Ryleigh’s gone. It’s possible that she’s just gone to get a drink of water, or to use the bathroom, but there’s worry twisting in Badru’s stomach. He slips out of the sheets, pads out of the dorm and, scanning the common room, he hears the door to Ravenclaw tower close.

 

Badru rushes out of the common room and sees Ryleigh silhouetted in the hallway. He tilts his head in confusion before walking quickly to catch up to her.

 

“Ryleigh,” he calls out, as loudly as he can without getting them in trouble. “Ry, what are you doing?”

 

When he gets no reply, he knows something isn’t right. Ryleigh continues around the corner, pacing so fast she’s only shy of running, but there’s a sort of slump to it, it’s not her usual pace or walk at all, and her head lolls to the side.

 

_Ryleigh’s sleepwalking_ , he thinks. He remembers reading that people shouldn’t wake someone who’s sleepwalking, that it’s best to just gently guide them back to bed, but Ryleigh’s not a sleepwalker. He’d know, wouldn’t he?

 

Badru tries to catch her without being loud enough to startle her out of sleep, but she’s moving so quickly that the gap between them widens. He doesn’t really start to worry until Ryleigh sets her foot on the first step of the staircase leading to the Astronomy Tower. She lurches forward slightly, almost like she’s being tugged along, and she’s climbing the stairs so fast that Badru has to break into a run to keep up.

 

“Ryleigh. Ryleigh!” He yells out, because he’d rather Ryleigh wake up in shock than have something awful happen. Suddenly, the staircase he’s been running up ends, and Ryleigh is standing at the very edge of the tower.

 

“RYLEIGH! Ry, stop!” he screams, desperation coloring his words.

 

He and Ryleigh usually come here to escape others, to stargaze, to be together. He knows, somehow, right then, that if he’s ever here again, he won’t be thinking of the beautiful cosmos above or the times he’s found solace here, but of the most terror he’s ever felt.

 

Ryleigh shudders suddenly, turning around to face Badru. He realizes that Ryleigh’s eyes are open and has no idea how long they’ve been open - if she was ever unconscious at all. His heart hammers.

 

He changes tack quickly, using a soft voice, trying to keep everything still and calm, while Ryleigh teeters so close to the edge. “Ryleigh, step towards me, or you’re going to fall over the edge,” he breathes out. Each word is laced with fear; he’s impossibly aware of the quickly mounting stakes. He can’t believe that ten minutes ago they were asleep in bed, wound tightly around each other, and it’s like he’s left his stomach back in the Ravenclaw dorms.

 

“Badru-” Ryleigh whispers, and she looks somehow confused and entirely certain at the same time, right before she steps back off the edge. And Badru’s heart actually breaks - not in the simple, love lost kind of way, but completely implodes.

 

Then, just for a second, he sees Ryleigh flail, grabbing ahold of the edge of the tower like something tugged her back, not like she willingly stepped off. He almost breathes in relief before he realizes that Ryleigh’s still falling, still going to die, and he doesn’t have to think about running and jumping off after her. He leaps out into the night with her because that’s them, side by side, no matter what.

 

Ryleigh looks peaceful as she tumbles downwards like a toy falling out of a child’s hand, and Badru hates it because it looks a lot like she’s giving up. He catches up to Ryleigh quickly, grabbing her in a tight hold, like he does when she has a nightmare, except this is worse because it’s horribly real.

 

Badru knows she’s never flown two people before, but it doesn’t stop him from yelling, “You have to stop us, Ry. I know you can do it. I trust you and you won’t let anything happen to me.”

 

Even if she can’t save them, they’re in this together now. He can see the look of concentration on Ryleigh’s face, trying to focus her raw magic, but he can’t stop thinking that Ryleigh might have stepped, that they might die.

 

Barely a second before impact, Ryleigh twists them, so Badru lands on top of her when they crash violently into the ground. The earth has never seemed so unforgiving; how could the same dirt that makes flowers grow also let Ryleigh’s bones make that awful snapping sound?

 

“Badru? Badru, are you okay?” Ryleigh demands, her voice fragile but determined.

 

He isn’t sure if he’s alright. Mentally, no way, and physically, he’s still too dizzy from the amount of adrenaline coursing through his body to tell if he’s hurt in any way. He says the only thing he’s sure will let Ryleigh think about herself for a second. “I’m fine, I think.”

 

There’s a beat of silence, both of them registering what’s happened and the fact that they’re still alive at all. Badru looks up. The top of the Astronomy Tower reaches so far into the sky that he can’t even make it out properly among all the darkness.

 

Then Ryleigh’s shouting, “Badru, you’re an idiot! What were you thinking?! I can’t believe you jumped off the tower, you know I can’t fly with two people yet. Y-you could have died!”

 

Part of him wants to roll his eyes at Ryleigh, or scream at her that he doesn’t care, how could he care? Ryleigh says it as if it was a choice that he deliberated on, and it aches that she doesn’t know it was an instinct, a reflex that he would never have resisted. And he’s so angry that even after everything, all the change and the growth, there’s still a part of Ryleigh that believes she is worth less than the rest of them, and Badru doesn’t have enough magic or words to make that go away.

 

“You _would have_ died if I hadn’t!” Badru yells back, bursting with frustration and fear and hatred at the futility of the fact that Ryleigh might not ever love herself as much as Badru loves her, or ever believe that she’s as important to him as she really is.

 

Then Cae is storming over to them, and Badru is being pulled into Rinan’s lap, wrapped in his arms. The older boy is nearly crying, or might actually be, so Badru hugs him back, but he never takes his eyes off Ryleigh. She should be the one being held.

 

Badru tunes back into the conversation just in time to hear Ryleigh mumble, “I-I don’t know,” before slipping back onto the ground as her eyes roll into her head.

 

The white of Ryleigh’s exposed shinbone almost glows in the night, and Badru wants to be sick, because it’s the match that sets the gasoline of his mind alight, swamping him with images of how broken she could have been. He watches as Cae rushes to Ryleigh’s side, all her ire immediately replaced with concern. She casts a hovering charm and floats Ryleigh’s body back towards the castle.

 

“Boys, come along.”

 

\---

 

Ryleigh lies completely still in the hospital wing bed. Badru sits on the edge of her mattress, one hand twisted in the starched sheets and the other resting on Ryleigh’s sternum, because at least he can feel the rise and fall of her chest, the steady thrum of her heart. He’s still flustered, still waiting to hear that something went wrong and she won’t be okay.

 

Cae grills him for what feels like hours, and he rambles out his best attempt at a chronological recount of the events. He stutters and stumbles over some of his words, trying to articulate that death’s greedy fingers were trying to touch Ryleigh.

 

Ryleigh, who doesn’t even understand herself yet, who’s so good, who Badru loves all the way down to his bones and deeper. Ryleigh, who’s been dealt a dark hand, who deserves the world, and gets nothing.

 

He barely hears the version of events that Ryleigh gives; he’s too transfixed by the fact that she’s talking at all, that her lips are moving and she’s still her and she’s going to be okay… eventually.

 

Badru’s been fighting against his tears since he found Ryleigh at the top of the Astronomy Tower, but when Eloise says, “Why kill you if he could get you to kill yourself?” he breaks. He lets the tears fall across his cheeks, each drop chasing the previous ones, gaining momentum. Then Eloise and Cae are leaving, taking the bracelet with them. Supposedly Ryleigh’s safe now, but Badru wants to hold her hand forever, just to be sure.

 

“Why did you jump after me? You’re so important, people need you,” Ryleigh says in a small voice.

 

“I didn’t see the bracelet,” he finally manages to say through the tears, “For a second, it looked like you stepped off the tower.” What he doesn’t say is, _just for a second, it felt like my world ended_.

 

“Ry, you’re important to me and I need _you_ …” because even though it didn’t happen, wasn’t what happened at all, there’s a part of him that believes Ryleigh could’ve willingly stepped off the tower’s edge. There’s a part of him that plugs Ryleigh’s troubled childhood, her self-esteem issues, her quietness, and how lost she gets all into an equation that totals up to Ryleigh’s life being something she doesn’t want to live in anymore.

 

“It was all the bracelet, Badru,” Ryleigh swears. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

 

He wants to believe her, and maybe someday he will. Instead, he crawls into her bed and pulls her close. After a while Ryleigh finally gives in to the concoction of potions she’s been given and slips into unconsciousness, but he’s determined to stay awake all night.

 

Rinan came back to the hospital wing after his prefect duties were over. He’s been sitting in the uncomfortable wooden chair next to the Ryleigh’s bed since he arrived.

 

“Badru, you should rest, too,” Rinan murmurs softly, gently, words said as if each and any of them might shatter him.

 

“I can’t,” he tells Rinan. Badru can’t see him from where he’s wrapped tightly around Ryleigh. He’s focusing on the feel of Ryleigh’s back pressing into his front with each rhythmic breath, and the heartbeat that echoes through both of their chests. The warm weight of his boyfriend’s hand resting on his shoulder still registers, despite the thoroughfare of thoughts running through his head.

 

“I know the bracelet is gone, but… I can’t look away, Rinan. What if she walks again?”

 

Rinan’s hand gently starts rubbing circles across Badru’s back, a calming movement that usually works wonders but tonight it does little to curve the harsh edges of the world. “Okay. It’s okay. We’re going to stay up till dawn. You and me. And if you can’t hold off and you fall asleep, it’ll be alright, because I’ll be right here, still watching her, yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Badru replies, and he falls a little more in love with the man sitting behind him.

 

He does fall asleep that night and Badru dreams about all the different universes where he doesn’t wake up so soon after Ryleigh left. Where he didn’t wake up with enough time to follow her, to catch her, to save her.

 

Out there is a universe where he doesn’t wake until dawn, and is instead shaken awake by the whispers of the boys in his dorm. Whispers that there’s a body at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower, the body of a student. A universe where he rolls over and Ryleigh isn’t there, where the bracelet’s enchantment has fallen back into its slumber, and no one ever knows that Ryleigh didn’t willingly step off the tower’s edge. Versions of himself and his life where he never sees Ryleigh again, where he spends the next ten decades wondering _why_ , wishing to go back and change everything.

 

He jolts awake and sprints to the bathroom where Rinan rubs his back while he throws up, caught up in a hurricane of what-ifs where he loses, where they all lose, where Ryleigh is gone forever. It feels like there’s a boggart following him around in real time, not just showing him one of his biggest fears, but the more likely possibility of the fork in the road they came across last night.

 

\---

 

“Are you alright?” Ryleigh asks. It’s late at night, two days after their leap off the Astronomy Tower. The matron shooed Urrak, Malica, Seirixori, and Gunnloda out of the hospital about an hour ago. Badru’s been allowed to stay, even though it breaks infirmary rules.

 

“Me?” Badru sputters. “You’re the one who nearly died.”

 

“So are you,” Ryleigh reminds him. They both know that he didn’t have to jump after her, or that she could have let him go to save herself; and they both know that they would make the same decision again and again if given another chance.

 

He thinks that maybe it’s that which is haunting Ryleigh. She’s always been willing to do anything for him, and now that it’s occurred to her that Badru’s willing to do the same, she’s terrified. Ryleigh is entirely too familiar with the power of reciprocated love, that almost-silent, yet ever-present fear that someone would choose you over themselves.

 

“I don’t care about that,” Badru promises, and it’s odd, but true… he really doesn’t care that he almost died jumping after her. His nightmares the last few nights never involve _him_ hitting the ground and dying alone. “I just… I love you, and I’m so scared something else is going to happen to you, Ry. When the Maker started threatening you - it was awful, but now it feels so real. And every time I can’t see you, it feels… like my world is missing something and I just…”

 

He doesn’t know what to say.

 

He’s always been aware of the danger Ryleigh’s in, but now, suddenly, Ryleigh feels like someone he could lose, which is something he’s never thought about before. That for the first time he’s had to imagine his life without her and it feels like it’s suffocating him. That for a heartbeat when he’d thought Ryleigh stepped off the ledge on her own accord, he was truly terrified, is terrified, that on some level Ryleigh wants to give up on life. That he hasn’t held her quite as tight as he thought he had, that the darkness of her childhood, the loss of her family, and the poisonous words that whisper to her won’t ever let go.

 

Ryleigh is so wonderful, but she wears black-tinted glasses that prevent her from seeing it when she looks in the mirror.

 

“I love you too, Badru.” She waits a beat before adding, “More than anyone… and I’m glad you’re okay, that we both are.”

 

Badru cracks a weak grin. “I think I might drop Astronomy next year, though.”

 

He might be kidding, but Ryleigh isn’t when she agrees, “Me too.” He feels slightly relieved by the response, like it’s confirmation that Ryleigh really is thankful to be alive.

 

“Badru?”

 

What Ryleigh says next makes him wonder if she can read minds, or if there’s simply no barriers between them after this long, not even physical ones.

 

“I’m going to work on it. Being better. For myself.”

 

\---

 

A few days later, when Badru walks into the Slytherin common room, Ryleigh’s levitating her trunk and Dawnbringer’s cage down the stairs from her dorm.

 

“What’s happening? Why are you packing?” Badru asks, worry bubbling in his stomach.

 

She ditches her trunk at the foot of the stairs and goes to sit on the couch. “I’m going with the aurors. Somewhere safe.”

 

Badru sits beside her, and the idea of a summer apart eats at him. He slides his hand into hers, before using his logic to suggest another solution. “Why can’t you stay with us again? Our castle is protected by all those shield charms and we have the Royal Guard there. Not to mention my parents are extraordinary wizards, we’d never let anything happen to you.”

 

“I know,” Ryleigh says, her voice catching in her throat, “That’s why I have to go.”

 

Ryleigh’s quiet for a while. He watches her brow furrow and he knows she’s trying to convince herself that she’s making the right decision, but then she’s leaning into him, her head resting on his shoulder. Badru is content with the silence between them, it’s never uncomfortable, and he isn’t sure when they fell asleep but they do.

 

The next thing Badru is aware of are gentle fingers grazing his neck, scratching the base of his head, bringing him slowly into consciousness. He’s curled around Ryleigh, his head resting in the crook of her neck.

 

“Just five more minutes,” he mumbles against her skin, feeling the hum in Ryleigh’s throat as she chuckles.

 

“I don’t have five more minutes, or I’d let you sleep,” Ryleigh softly says.

 

Badru hugs her closer, unwilling to let her go just yet, but also to make up for all the hugs she won’t get until next term. He makes sure that she feels the weight behind it before whispering, “I’ll miss you.”

 

“I’ll miss you too,” Ryleigh says in an equally hushed tone.

 

He shifts to look at her, wanting to say something else, but then he sees her body go rigid and her gaze flicking down for a second, resting on Badru’s lips before they jump back up to his eyes. Before he’s fully processed what it might mean, Ryleigh is tripping over herself to put distance between them, and suddenly, he’s alone on the couch in the Slytherin common room. After a few silent moments, he works out that Ryleigh’s never looked at him like that. And if he didn’t know any better, he’d swear she wanted to kiss him… _no._

  
Badru falls back onto the couch and groans. _Great_.


End file.
